For those of you who have suicidal thoughts. Do you want to get better? Are you seeking help? Are you getting better? A lot of questions at once, I guess. I just wonder about this because when I'm at my worst I don't really want to get better. I just want to give up. And the only person in my life who knows I have these thoughts bug me about seeking help from a doctor or something and I just don't want to. When I'm having a good day/week/month, I want to get help. But that's when I don't really need it, so I won't get it. But when I do need it, I don't want to go looking for it.