I was so relieved that I survived yesterday I forgot how bad it might go today. I was overcome with nervousness because I really didn't want to have to tell anyone else but finally got it all spit out (the wall is a great place to make eye contact ). I've taken to heart all your comments about how many times it can take to find the right anti depressant and I thought all I have to do is tell one more person, the other person who knows is sitting next to me, once this is explained, it's all over. Nope, now I get to say how bad it really has been for the first time. That I am scared to be by myself. So, since this is the third one in less three years, I was on the first one for a while, he doesn't want to change it. Nope psychiatrist for me to get me on the right type(s) of medication. And in the meantime? Go drive an hour and admit myself into psychiatric care if I really don't trust myself between now and when I can get in. He says it won't be a problem because if I check myself in, I can check myself out whenever I want... I... cannot.