does any one else do this?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Izora, Jul 17, 2013.

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  1. Izora

    Izora Member

    I often know that if I were to talk or text a friend I would feel better.
    but I feel like I'm being needy like I'm always the one initiating contact.
    sometimes I feel like the only reason they respond is because they feel obligated.
    half the time I'll type out a text and then I delete it instead of sending it.
    does this happen to anyone else? how do you get through it?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I do that all the time hun type something out text it then delete it before sending because like you i do not want to bring anyone down to feel needy Here hun you can post away ok No one will judge you here hun I don't think though your friends would judge you really if they are true friends hugs
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    You aren't needy for wanting someone to talk to...I usually feel this way though. I feel that I'm being a bother if I reach out to anyone, especially with some of the reactions I get when I talk about how I'm really feeling. But definitely keep reaching out if it helps you feel better.
  4. ShoegazeDaydream

    ShoegazeDaydream ~Kid at Heart~

    You're definately not alone on this one. I don't have a phone, but I usually stop myself from calling anyone or even sending people pm's on here cause I always feel like I'm a burden on people. Than towards the end I feel worse than I already did before cause I stop myself from contacting anyone. In the back of my mind, I just always think I'm bothering them or that they don't want to hear from me. It's simple Negative thoughts.

    Just wanted to know your not alone. Send me a pm if you ever need anyone to talk too ever! =)
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think many people feel like this...sometimes, I feel too ashamed to be the one in need so I stop myself from asking or I am just too prideful...and yes, I know I should just send the message, but for many of us it is very difficult
  6. theblackrose

    theblackrose Techno Mage

    I do that a ton. I also do it on Facebook or other Social Sites. I feel like I am a bother to everyone.
  7. Big M

    Big M Well-Known Member

    Good for you for taking the initiative. I just wait for people to text me, I'm not very outgoing. I delete texts sometimes for sure. I will tell you, not initiating is a great way to lose friends. Don't feel bad about initiating contact, I know it isn't easy. And if they are your real friends they aren't responding because they feel obligated, it is because they care about you.
  8. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    i'm always doing this actually!. on emails, on forums, to laura... this is always happening to me

    i'll start writing something- then before it can get to where ever, i close the page or delete it.

    most forums for example, now have an edit/ delete your post... i've done that one on sites before- many times

    when i do it it reminds me of the demmie lovato song.. heart attack. the line where she sings.. everytime i try to be myself, it comes out all wrong like a cry for help- it's how i feel sometimes when i'm seeking someone to talk to... it comes out all wrong like i am desperate

    countless times i've felt guilty when i've for example, kept laura from doing something- like sleeping or what ever. or keeping her from her club.. sometimes i just say to her, you know, you go... like the other 999 times, i've no one supporting me anyway, so..
  9. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    I'm the same. I got fed up of always being the one to start a conversation with my friends - they would never start it themselves. I felt like the friendship was one-sided. So I gave up trying. If they want to talk to me then they can be the ones to start it. Otherwise I just feel like I'm bothering people.
  10. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    that happens to me a lot. I'm very demanding of myself and always feel like I'm needy to others, but now I understand that friendship is a two way street. As long as you give them your time and they give you yours then it's healthy, it's when it's one way street that it's not good...

    also you have to tell yourself you are worth the attention and the help...I know it's hard to do that, I'm still working on it...I don't know why I"m so hard on myself...perhaps you're hard on yourself too?
  11. blast

    blast Guest

    this is one of my favorite ways to release some of my pent up anger i dont have to actually send what i type but ackowledging the feelings helps me to cope with people being silly and not sending it really helps me to see how silly i can be when i let my emotions rule my tongue bc i can reflect and say yeah im glad i didnt say that lol but yeah i can honestly say that this used to bother me but then i started to realize how much i can do to help myself by choosing GOOD reasons to start a conversation or reply to someone and be POSITIVE and try to better both worlds by lifting myself with them.

    i hope this helps somehow i know its not the same but thats just how i feel
  12. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Initiating contact most of the time an irritability? Yup - I can relate. And I know my mum can too.

    If neither of us initiate contact, we're seldom heard by anyone other than perhaps my sister in the family (I got 2 brothers, one sister).

    There was an instance a year or two back where my oldest brothers partner accused my mum of not caring about her grandchildren - that said, this same sister-in-law of mine doesn't respond to messages that my mum sends. So who's left out in the cold? She is. And yet no-one really bothers (even I made more effort albeit not a lot when I lived away from her), to make contact.

    The other irritating aspect is when people go through someone else to ask how I am - when they have a way in which they could contact me directly that they choose not to.
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