i mean i was ripped off and hurt and destroyed by a few people who i lov e and who meant everything to me, i wont be able to trust anybody or be close to people every again but im slowly finalllly learning tobe a little bit social (coz i have no choice reallyl other wise i would be a recluse). the prob i have is creating a normal b ack-story to my (lack of real) life. ppeople talk abou t what they did on weekeneds etc, what event they got up to in the past, holidays they have, friends they see, events they do, etc. i have non of that. not that i get asked very much but when i do, i have to ocome up with a generic very basic story. i.e. for what i did every weekeend 'oh you know, just the usual - went out with a ffew mates, be social, have some drinks' where the reality wouldbe 'oh you no, i got no friend coz the people i love just used me and rip me off so i barely got out of bed, took too many pills , and had too much to drink again but it wasnt all bad you know, i didnt atttempt suicide this weekend'. obviously people wont want to hear what i really didd. it is the sam e with past events as well, i havenever had birthday party or never been trick or treating etc or any of those thing that should be basic and normal but i have no idea bout them or how to react. im guesssing others on here may have had similar issues but do you just keep going on with this 'false' life? i hate lying , i never used to do it or understand why you woul d need to but it hjust comes naturally now but it doesnt make it any better to me. ok i guess im ranting here coz im drunk so i better end this now. but also listen to bloc party coz they are epic.