I don't have any really close friends, I used to have about 50 acquaintances (although we called each other friends, and some of us even duped ourselves into saying we were best friends), but over the past 4 or 5 years I have stopped talking to almost all of them, bar about 10. None of us were close, in fact we hardly knew anything about each other, our lives were purely about getting drunk and having fun, there were no deep and meaningful - unless too much vodka was involved! So how can I really call them friends? I do crave a close relationship with someone. Somebody I can completely depend on and offer the same back, and I suppose I've told myself being able to be 100% open and honest and myself with somebody and know that I am loved and cared for by them would make a significant difference in my life. But would it? Would it really? Does anybody else feel like they are missing out on this and it feeds their depression... being so lonely all the time?