Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Aurora Gory Alice, Mar 22, 2009.

  1. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I don't have any really close friends, I used to have about 50 acquaintances (although we called each other friends, and some of us even duped ourselves into saying we were best friends), but over the past 4 or 5 years I have stopped talking to almost all of them, bar about 10.

    None of us were close, in fact we hardly knew anything about each other, our lives were purely about getting drunk and having fun, there were no deep and meaningful - unless too much vodka was involved! So how can I really call them friends?

    I do crave a close relationship with someone. Somebody I can completely depend on and offer the same back, and I suppose I've told myself being able to be 100% open and honest and myself with somebody and know that I am loved and cared for by them would make a significant difference in my life. But would it? Would it really?

    Does anybody else feel like they are missing out on this and it feeds their depression... being so lonely all the time?
     
  2. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    Any friends would be good. I'd settle for drinking buddies. :mellow:
     
  3. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    After becoming depressed my life kind of fell apart and over the next few years I isolated myself from most of the people I knew. Fortunately for me I have a couple of friends who wouldn't let me do that. I do a lot of mountaineering and the friendships that form from shared experiences in the mountains run deep. These couple of people have helped me a lot. One of them in particular is always coming over to see me and dragging me out of the house to do things. They have helped me so much.
    The other people who have significantly improved my life have been the friends I have made here at SF. Although I haven't (yet) met any of the people here in person there are those who I regularly chat to and have become as close to me as anyone in the outside world.
    I still feel very lonely at times but without the help and support of others I doubt if I would still be here.
    So yes, close friends do significantly improve my life.
     
  4. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    Yes close friends are a must in my life! Without them, i wouldn't be able to go on day to day! They are what keeps me sane and keeps me going!

    In real life, i have a few good friends, one in particular who is always harping my chords! Won't let me go for more than two days without calling me and checking up on me.

    Online, i have a few friends who i consider good friends and one friend who i consider a close friend!
     
  5. darkeyes

    darkeyes Well-Known Member

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    Yes, I can pretty much guarantee my life would be thoroughly better if I had the capacity to experience close relationships but I don't because of my extreme social phobia and because I'm living in self imposed isolation. Even if I got a friend I'd end up avoiding them until they gave up on me anyway so I'm certain I'll be alone forever and I'm becoming quite accustomed to it even though I still have the natural urge to have relationships with people.
     
  6. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    i am way better in coping with this because I have a huge support group behind me.

    I would be lost without them..
     
  7. klodo

    klodo Well-Known Member

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    Yes, I believe a loving family and a small group of close trustworthy friends are the key to a sound mind and happiness.Its still hurts and confuses me that I have never had either.
     
  8. karotka

    karotka New Member

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    Yes, I think having people who you can trust and are close to you is very helpful. Unfortunetly I don't have that..
    I used to have close friends buit we grew apart now I am stuck in a very unhealthy relationship with no one to really turn to - so I stay..
     
  9. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    Friends help you get through things. It's easy to tell epically every day at my school. People will always become depressed but if they have friends they are always there to help and make people feel better. If you don't have any friends you are on your own in terms of getting through tough times. Some select people succeed and live lives where they don't have to depend on others while the majority fall into depression because it is so hard to cope if you only have yourself to help make you feel better.
     
  10. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    the closest friends that ive had ive met in the day hospital i go. never been able to relate to so many people as i can with them. they understand the tough times. know when to back off as understand why im feeling like i am. just like i understand when it comes to them. friends outside the place even though im close to them i feel like theres a million miles between us because of how i just think they look down on me
     
  11. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    I don't know. I have friends, plenty of them. And they apparently like my company, but I always feel alone, regardless of where I am or who I'm with. I think I'm just doomed to be cloistered away. :unsure:
     
  12. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    Most of my friends suck. If I had at least one friend I could always count on, that I knew cared for me and vice versa... I think I'd be ok.
     
  13. Shifter

    Shifter Well-Known Member

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    wow, i guess im not the only one then.....i feel the EXACT same way. i have alot of stuff to live for but im still driven to throw it all away...forever.......
     
  14. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    no i dont think it would, i have been told that i am 'fun' to be around, but i find friends and company too grating, and having relationships of any magnitude is too much, as i would be making an impact on them, and therefore my 'parting' would have a knock on negitive effect on them.
    and also i dont like pretneding to be ok with people. and regardless of how good a friend is, you still have to sugar coat everything. and it makes you feel worse as you cant let everything out to someone who is supposed to care.
     
  15. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    Its true, if you have "close friends" and you aren't comfortable talking about your problems you'll feel MUCH worse and alienated. Just consider how painful it is when family doesn't acknowledge your struggles. And close friends are like family...but they're people you liked and picked to be family.
     
  16. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    this is an interesting thread.

    i have real and valued friendships, outside the forum. some are decades old.

    they assure me i can be 'real' with them; they assure me they can handle whatever it is i drop on them. but i find i have to treat them as a cashmere sweater - handling them with kid gloves and yes, as someone said here, '''sugar-coating'''. . . . i find it frustrating and ultimately, unfulfilling.

    i try to then hide my truest feelings - and then reach out to offer them support for their problems, which allows me to sidestep my own.

    the truest friends, good or bad, i have met on s.f.
    in every sense of the word. not everyone i talk to has become a real-life friend. but i have made several. . . and they seem to accept me as i am. flaws and all. and still love me.

    my life is enriched because of them; however, i still love my real-life friends. but you see, we have approached life from different points of view.

    here i feel free to let it all hang out. no matter how ugly.
    real life friends have not offered this acceptance - however, at least 2 friends that i met here. . . have mutated into real life friends and they still offer unconditional support and acceptance of my very flawed self.

    i am not sure i would still be here, if not for the friendships i've made on s.f.
    they have held me accountable -
    and when i stayed - i found that life can bring many surprises and is worth living - just to see what is around the next corner. . .
     
  17. mellie

    mellie Member

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    My life would definately be better if i had close friends, alas, i have none and find it difficult to relate and be open with people. i find i always end up hiding who i really am in fear of being rejected, and so i can never make any real friends
     
  18. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    Yeah I think mine would. Just some human contact with someone who actually cares about me. Guess it's too much to ask ? :dry:
    I miss having friends.
     
  19. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    I know my life would be better because when I had close friends, my life was better.

    I still have friends but none of them are people I could seek any kind of emotional support from.

    And my family are not even my friends, to say nothing of being close.
     
  20. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Re: Does anybody feel that their lives would significantly improve with close friends

    at this moment. i prefer being by myself.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 13, 2009