Does anybody set themselves Goals either way?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by downunder, Jun 11, 2008.

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  1. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    Just wondering what people do to stop acting on their ideas?

    Like do you set yourself a goal, such as an event you are looking forward to etc?


    Also wondering if people think the other way, such as if such and such happens, then I am out of here. I think I used to think like this a fair bit and then when it happens, I either make an attempt or change my mind and say that is not that important to me anymore.

    Sorry about all the threads, but I have nobody I can really discuss this with as I don't want to be dobbed in.
     
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    I don't really set goals for myself I just sort of make mental lists of what I am sticking around for. Family, suicide forum, music.


    I never do this. I think that's the worst thing I could do for myself. Then it would feel almost like an obligation like I'd have to kill myself because I said I would if that happened. Yeah so I never do if this then that stuff.
     
  3. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    I'm not a goal-oriented person. I'm just not. I've tried it and it doesn't work for me. The only way I get by is one day at a time. If I start thinking about tomorrow or the next day or next week or next year, I get hopelessly depressed.

    This is not something that's really helpful in the long run because you have to think about the future in order to improve it. But if thinking about it makes me want to die, it's probably better that I don't.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    To be honest, the only thing I have left to look forward to is death.
     
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i stick on a day to day plan: for today, right at this moment, i commit to life. if i think too hard on the future, or the past, i start to sink. so it's day to day, even hour to hour or moment to moment.

    yeah, i have to plan out a few things (like work schedules, getting together with friends) but in terms of mental health, right now works best for me.
     
  6. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    at least you have a job and freands...
     
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    yeah, and for your information nobody handed either one of them to me. i put alot of effort into doing things that keep me alive, despite my brain doing it's best to kill me.

    work pays the bills, including therapy, gives me a sense of satisfaction, and maybe more importantly than anything it gets me out of the house. if i stay at home i fall easily into a negative loop about what a loser i am. the job pays one quarter of my old job. but who cares. in some ways it is it's own form of therapy.

    there comes a time when you have to take action on your own behalf. this might be one of those times.
     
  8. Undone

    Undone Active Member

    There is nothing specific I am looking forward to; only one of two things...
    Recovery from depression & anxiety and the ability to love myself & be happy, or death... I'm hoping for the former.

    I guess the only goal I have set is to explore all options for said recovery before I give in, but god knows how long that could take if ever.


    Unfortunatley I think this way too, I often think one of the only things keeping me here is that I refuse to hurt my boyfriend and put him through the trauma of my suicide. But if we were to break up, I don't know...
     
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I have to set small goals for myself or I wouldn't be able to go see the Doc, go to therapy, the grocery store. It took my therapist three years to get me to leave the house. I have a small list of places I will go.
    As far as hurting my self, yes I am suicidal. I deal with it on a day to day bases. Thats like I already have a plan to go thru with it, but I take one step at a time. I don't look at the future because I don't know what is going to happen next...:chopper:
     
  10. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    I know what you're saying but it's not that simple for some people. Just because it was doable (maybe not exactly easy but doable) for you, don't assume everyone can follow your lead and have it work out for them.

    Don't get me wrong. I'm glad for you that you've gotten to where you are. And I know it couldn't have been easy and you should feel proud for your accomplishments. But the "suck it up" attitude can just make other people feel worse and even less motivated.
     
  11. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I don't set future goals at this time as I am doing all I can to go day by day and sometimes it may be hour by hour. Each day is a victory.

    As for goals the other way, no I do not set them either. If I were to set that goal and reach it, I would be bound to complete it and that may not be where I am at that time. I would rather not feel trapped into it.
     
  12. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    yeah, sorry about that. i am not saying 'suck it up' and sorry if it read that way. i was just feeling insulted (yeah, prob. overreacting), and i felt like he was saying it was no big deal for me to find work and friends. it wasn't really a comment on how anyone else should live their lives.

    it was a very big deal for me to go back to work and to begin to break my isolation and i didn't appreciate what i read as a flippant comment.

    on another thread someone else said that getting a paycheque was a silly thing to get upset over, it was just $$, so i was prob. reacting to that, too.

    i am so broke that some days i don't buy groceries so that there is enough money to take the bus into town to see my counsellor.

    peace?

    cath.
     
  13. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    mainly my goals "to keep me on balance" are preparing my meals and getting at least 3 meals a day and getting food into my fridge and sleeping when i need to which is a lot. i'm fortunate that my mental and physical health allows this at this moment. if it didn't i don't know where i'd be probably starving in my bed like last summer living off 1 bowl of porridge a day and chocolate milk :laugh:

    those goals are for maintaining my mental health too. i need to maintain myself otherwise i go spiralling or i go wandering excessively living off others food and shelter...:dry:
     
  14. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Let me start by saying I'm inspired by the accoplishments that Dazzle has accoplished. I know how it feels to be at the bottom and having to work your way towards the top. So Dazzle I applaud you for having the strength to acheive your dailey goals.
    The one thing that I do to survive is I talk long distance to my daughter and my grandaughter. It is not easy to live so far away and to know you are missing my grandaughter growing up. I missed out on my daughter, she tells me she doesn't hold it against me but for some reason I still beat my self up over it. My daughter told me if I try to commit suicide again that she will never forgive me. Sometimes it is a real challenge because if it weren't for them I would already be dead. The urge to commit is always with me, I lie in bed crying at night because I have totally screwed up my life.
    I have been trying to get her to move back here, she says she is scared to.I had her a car and a roofover her head and food in her belly. I honestly don't think she was totally honest about forgiving me. I had her live with me acouple of times when she was growing up and she decided she was going to do what ever she wanted to and there was nothing I could do about it.She kept running away. This town is a haven for the homeless. I didn't want her on the streets so I sent her butt back to her mom. I wasn't so concerned about her doing that up there because they live in a small town. Oh well thats enough of that shit...:chopper:
     
  15. Kimi

    Kimi Well-Known Member

    I have set a goal for ending my life. My family is not living in this country so that I want to sort my things out before I go.. I've been working for the same company for a long time. I don't want to be in a rumour forever among my colleagues who I have known since 1999. I need to find a new job and new place to live. Then my life is end. No regret. What I regret is why I didn't finish my life when I felt that in the beginning. Then I haven't been going through life like a mentally tortured over three years..

    I'm calmer these days since I set a rough date for ending my life. I'm happy that I will be free from this devastated life.. :smile:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 13, 2008
  16. Steffz11

    Steffz11 Member

    I just try to get through life by any means necessary, by hook or by crook.

    Setting too many goals for yourself, usually ends up in most of them not being fulfilled, leading to it being less productive then you set out for it to be.
     
  17. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I used to always try and hold out until the next visit to my counsellor which is usually weekly, twice weekly, or fortnightly. But now she is going in a couple of weeks as I always knew that I would feel better after seeing her.
     
  18. Steffz11

    Steffz11 Member

    Yeah relying on a counsellor or someone can sometimes lead to disappointment with cancelled/missed appointments, i suggest you try not to keep a pattern of when you go, that's what i did when i needed it.
     
  19. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    The counsellor used to tell me when I should go. But I can see what you mean. I also have a friend who I can ring and say anything and she won't dob me in. Her ex husband was in a similar situation. I am not on medication.

    I also enter competitions with my dog, and work full time. Working keeps me in a routine. I had to see the work doctor once, and she wanted me to stop seeing the counsellor and to see someone else, then I got home from that and the council wanted to take one of my dogs away. So everything that was helping keeping me here was about to be taken away.

    I also do a paper run in addition to my normal job just for fitness. Last night saw another horrible website of people making fun of daughter's death. Have reported them for harassment so hopefully it will be taken down.
     
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