I have never understand the idea of keeping yourself alive "just because". I feel like am a cosmic screw up. My life has meant nothing to anyone and I am a major disappointment to me self eternally. For most of my life it has been like am invisible besides the force of pain confusion and a mixture of my bad choices and other people's free will. What is life that you should continue to live it if its not what you really want? I really have thought about everything the pros cons , what I really want out of life, what makes me happy ect ect . I can honestly say, I have no desire to be here. Yes I do think its a result of the life I have already lived up until this point and non-existent belief in faith and/or there being HOPE for me for things to change for me to be able to live life further with the after effects of the past and my present burdens unrolling and me being able to be set free.. Does anyone eles feel this way...?:ghost: There is no hope for me, I fear.