I think my life is becoming extreme and recently i am getting a thrill off my strange behaviour. I actually find it scary and exciting to see how far i can push it. I have started to do stupid things like take pracetamol, but try and push it. I mean like instead of 2 every 3 hours take 3 every 2 hours then more and more and i had 6 in an hour today, maybe it is an addiction but i felt drowsy and it felt good. I also never used to drink much when i went out, but i will just take shot after shot until i cant remember anything. I used to have a problem with self harm but recently i have been to the hospital because i have taken the wounds really deep until i need stitches. I used have a councillor and all that be on anti depressants blah blah blah. And i was ok for about a year then suddenly -BANG- it feels like im making up for 'lost time' if you get it. I have strange dreams every night which follow a theme escaping from things like tidal waves,escaping from soilders with guns,escaping from aliens (lol aliens?) escaping from buildings,theres always fear and chaos. I know this is telling me something here. To everyone else i appear to be fine and great i have a good job in a good position so i dont know why i am doing this. It just gives me a buzz. Does anyone else indulge in this kind of behaviour?