Does anyone else do this?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gettinhigh, Feb 12, 2008.

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  1. gettinhigh

    gettinhigh Member

    I think my life is becoming extreme and recently i am getting a thrill off my strange behaviour. I actually find it scary and exciting to see how far i can push it. I have started to do stupid things like take pracetamol, but try and push it. I mean like instead of 2 every 3 hours take 3 every 2 hours then more and more and i had 6 in an hour today, maybe it is an addiction but i felt drowsy and it felt good. I also never used to drink much when i went out, but i will just take shot after shot until i cant remember anything. I used to have a problem with self harm but recently i have been to the hospital because i have taken the wounds really deep until i need stitches. I used have a councillor and all that be on anti depressants blah blah blah. And i was ok for about a year then suddenly -BANG- it feels like im making up for 'lost time' if you get it. I have strange dreams every night which follow a theme escaping from things like tidal waves,escaping from soilders with guns,escaping from aliens (lol aliens?) escaping from buildings,theres always fear and chaos. I know this is telling me something here. To everyone else i appear to be fine and great i have a good job in a good position so i dont know why i am doing this. It just gives me a buzz. Does anyone else indulge in this kind of behaviour?
     
  2. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    im not sure if i know wghat you mean but when i go out i do things i dont usual do. i try to fill this dying void in my stomach but it just doesnt fill and i do it to feel like a person.
     
  3. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Yup - for me it is doing something that scares me. Like driving really fast. I have been there with the drinking thing and it is still a problem... so much so I avoid going out as I know when I have done I have woke up in hospital as I passed out - cant remember anything of it all. I have taken overdoses but all has happened there is I have thrown up all the drugs. I still cut 2. But there is the stupid things that i do hoping that something worse will happen as though I am pushing my luck!
     
  4. gettinhigh

    gettinhigh Member

    Thats what i mean :biggrin:!
     
  5. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Cos it would be an accident or an awful tragedy if anything was to happen. Things like not putting my seat belt on when driving is somthing that i regulary do. As with the overdoses they have been what i have done to end it there and then when i cant wait for anything else to happen.
     
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