Does anyone else get angry when someone you love doesn't love you back?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ExtraSoap, Oct 22, 2011.

  1. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    Now, some of you may have seen my thread in the members diary. To those who havent, I am madly in love with a girl who does not show any interest in me romantically, as she has a boyfriend (who asked her out literally minutes before I was going to). Now, I'm very happy for her and her boyfriend, as it's a good relationship and they seem happy together. But for some reason I get so angry when I see her, and other times I feel elated. when I'm angry, I'm angry enough to punch through the wall in my room and broke my hand angry. Is this normal? should I be concerned? And also, does this happen to anyone else?
     
  2. Sardaukar

    Sardaukar Well-Known Member

    sounds like jealousy to me, theres no shame in that, as long as you dont let it consume you, and everyone gets angry, plus you are a teenager so you would be very hormonal which screws up your moods, everyone went through that, so dont worry too much about it. You could try and channel that rage into something else, like art or going to gym or taking up a martial art, trust me nothing vents anger and frustration like striking a heavy bag with everything youve got, you just need to find a constructive outlet for it or it will make you sick.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 22, 2011
  3. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    I'm not jealous, at least not consciously. And yes, I do know that hitting shit other than a wall is amazing for stress relief, but I just don't have the will to get off of my ass and excersize or do a martial art. I already feel sick though, like life is just draining me of will and motivation. I'm getting into marijuana, which seems to be getting into a problem cause it's one of the few things I look forward to.
     
  4. Sardaukar

    Sardaukar Well-Known Member

    Well life is always confusing and frustrating, sadly it doesnt improve much with age, you just get a new set of problems. Try not too smoke too much weed, your brain is still developing and you will really screw yourself up if you overdo it, and that would be a terrible waste. Im sure things will work out in the end, but just try to hang in there, its hard to do when you are on your own, but you know that there is always someone here for you on SF. There are some truly awesome individuals on this site, and they will help you as much as they can.
     
  5. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    Thanks man, that means a lot to me. Btw,im REALLY high right now, so fyou basically blew my mind with those words, thanks a lot man.
     
  6. Sardaukar

    Sardaukar Well-Known Member

    hrm, all weed ever did for me was make me paranoid, but ja glad I could help. Never let anyone sabotage your self worth, that is what happened to me, and Im only starting to recover now.
     
  7. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    You are suffering from "unrequited love", where you love someone and that person doesn't love you back. Its incredibly common, its been covered so many times in real life and fiction, in books, movies, poems, etc. Look it up and I'm sure you'll get a lot of information about it and stories of countless number of people in your exact situation.

    It hurts a hell of a lot on the inside and I can only imagine how painful it is. Its a terrible, terrible feeling. I hope maybe she can ditch her current boyfriend and go with you or perhaps you may find someone else you can fall in love with and she can feel the same way about you. Good luck to you. :)
     
  8. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    I figured that's what it is, but do you have any idea if manifests itself in anger? Because punching walls isn't going to solve anything in the long term :p
     
  9. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I think you being angry is very understandable, especially in your original post, where you say you were just about to ask her out but then her current boyfriend did and "stole" her away from you. If I was you, I'd be upset as well.

    I just hope you don't suffer too much from your negative emotions. I hope they don't consume you and have you go down a spiraling pit of misery and despair. I hope some good news can come along the way to make you feel good again. :)
     
  10. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    Yeah, me too :/
     
  11. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    In my humble opinion. I think you are more sane than anyone who says they are happy because the girl they love is happy.

    Sounds like you need sometime away from her. So just make sure she is not around you. I think your anger stems from your regret for not asking her out earlier. Whenever you see her you are reminded that you barely missed. Yeah it sucks, such is life though.
     
  12. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    But I don't want to be away from her. It's almost like when we talk I feel like I'm high, im so happy (dear god this is getting to be like one of those shitty romantic movies/books). I feel like if I didn't see her for an extended period of time, I wouldn't know waht to do with myself.
     
  13. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    -_-.... then I recommend you get FAR FAR FAR AWAY from her. Seriously, that is unhealthy. It is ok to miss someone, but when you are at the point you are at. I would recommend cutting her out of your life for a while. YEs it will suck, but you have to be strong. Otherwise you won't ever feel better. The longer you are around her the more you will be jealous and regretful. Save yourself the pain and misery and get out.
     
  14. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    well then, that was blunt. But probably very true, I'll give it a shot, I guess. Thanks for the advice.
     
  15. BrinkOfExistence

    BrinkOfExistence Well-Known Member

    I concur, i've done this myself unfortunately i can't cut her completely out of my life but i've got it down to about a minute a week literally and it really works, it could take a few weeks or even months before you feel better, it would probably work faster if you never see her again and find a good distraction though.
     
  16. therapy_fan

    therapy_fan Well-Known Member

    I had the same problem a long time ago, broke my hand 3 times.... then a friend told me to start playing the drums! 10 years and no broken bones! :)
     
  17. 1112222

    1112222 Well-Known Member

    Eh no and I know this going to be rather blunt but bear with me.

    Being rejected sucks and all but the reality is you never asked her out or admitted your feelings to her while some other guy did. Yes its perfectly normal to be upset but at the end of the day you have just gotta get over it and move on.
     
  18. JeffNY

    JeffNY Member

    Extrasoap, i've seen your posts and i'm new here but it seems we are dealing with the same thing to a degree.

    My girlfriend of 2 years has pushed me aside due to faults of my own which makes it so much harder in my opinion because had I done this or that, I wouldn't be in this situation or even making this post.

    We've gotten to the point that she doesn't even want to talk to me. This girl was my world for 2 years straight where we only spoke to each other. We would spend time together for a good 7-8 hours a day. Now i'm left with nothing at all because she basically hates my existence at the moment.

    It also doesn't help that she is talking to her ex again which makes me absolutely insane. I am trying so hard to not think about it but it just bothers me to no end. I would think it's jealously mixed with various other things. It's making life so hard for me as well and at this point I am just trying to take every step forward I can but it is so hard
     
  19. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    Although I have never had a girlfriend like that, I think I have a pretty good idea as to what you are going through. I know it's hard to move on, but just try your best, because you can win 'em all, unfortunately.
     
  20. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    All you can do is move on, possibly even find a new girl. If it was meant to be with this girl she will come back. If this girl sees you moving on being happy with your own life and possibly finding a new girlfriend that will quite likely make her like you more! It's not something I would count on but you just need to accept the situation and do what you can with the way things are now.

    It's just like the quote "what you resist, persists and what you fight strengthens". If you resist being single and perpetuate the thought pattern that this girl is the one, when she's talking to her ex and your not together anymore then she will be less drawn to you.

    Accept she's not into you now and move on, almost even forget she exists or you were even together.

    I'm also guessing you're pretty young the likelihood of you finding the person to spend the rest of your life with at your age is quite little.

    If you have true self love people you care about may come and go but your heart will never be defeated.