Does anyone else get homicidal ideation, too?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by What, Jul 9, 2015.

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  1. What

    What Active Member

    I get terrible homicidal ideation on and off with my episodes. I think this is the main thing that fuels my suicidal ideation. I feel like I can always handle everything else no matter how horrible it all is, but when I start getting homicidal ideation and intrusive terrible thoughts, I feel like I am turning into a monster and it makes me want to kill myself. Does anyone else understand what this is like?
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    I think that this is one of those things that nobody admits to but everyone does sometimes. I know that a few years ago I had more what I describe as "serial killer" thoughts than I care to admit. The thing to remember is that we are what we repeatedly choose. You choose to never act on the terrible intrusive thoughts - that is the defining point. You are not a monster - do you need to work on strategies for dealing with the anger that is causing the homicidal thoughts? Absolutely - but having them doesn't make you a bad person or even that unusual. You are not turning into a monster - you are choosing not to be a monster in the face of a lot of difficulty. That is something to be proud of.
  3. panzer759

    panzer759 Active Member

    sometimes I feel the exact same way too so I know what u mean
  4. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't say that I'm homicidal, but I do get really upset with people. I think that it's mostly because of the way that I'm feeling though. Whatever is wrong with my brain causes me to feel like the whole weight of the world is upon my shoulders. It feels like everyone else is fine and I'm the only one that's not and that really frustrates me.
  5. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    I've not imagined actual deaths with mine, just sweeping annoying people away with superpowers I imagined in my head.
  6. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    "I ain't a killer, but don't push me" it's perfectly 'normal' to feel that way. If you feel negative about it, you'll probably never do it. It's when you feel indifferent or pleasant that you might need to look after it.
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