today I did a lot of shopping which costed so much money, electronic device and some clothes. but now I'm feeling guilty……I will kill myself soon, why I wasted all these money even if I kinda need these items. Even during shopping, I would resort to buy cheaper and less good items as I convinced myself I'm going to die soon, so I don't need to buy that good/expensive. Does anyone feel the same like me? even though you wanna die everyday, you would still care about things that you shouldn't have, or guilty about spending money shopping? I'm thinking if I had suicided, would my family get confused why I still acted so normal or mad at me that I wasted money for things that I didn't use for long.