Does anyone struggle with jealousy?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Aurora Gory Alice, May 9, 2009.

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  1. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I have NEVER admitted this before, this is honestly the first time I have ever opened up and said this.

    I suffer from jealously pangs really badly, in fact to call them simply pangs is an understatement. I have lost friends because of it, mainly because I stopped talking to them because seeing them happy was too much for me and I couldn't be around them.

    Usually it happens when someone gets a boy/girlfriend I will quietly disappear from their lives, someone gets a really good job or comes into some money or just something really good happens for them, I tend to steer clear because I can't handle it. I can feel my blood boiling and my internal organs all jumping into my throat, I can hear my voice becoming more and more strained and fake, almost like I'm trying to push the words out.
    Ultimately I just can't cope.

    In some of the more extreme cases I've caused an argument so the other person would become pissed at me and stop talking to me instead of me having to find a reason not to see them.

    The worst thing I do though is with friends, I'll have a friend that I'm close with and another friend that I'm close with. The two of them might meet and form a friendship and that'll kill me. I can't handle it, it's so fucking childish and I hate myself for it. Shouldn't I want my friends to all get along?
    In some cases I've not cared, in the past I've had a big group of friends where we were all close, and sometimes we would do stuff together, sometimes we'd do stuff in twos or threes, but you know we all got along equally as well with each other.

    But other times it's too hard, I'll make a connection with one and I can't take it if they make the same connection with someone else and hang out together without me there, or if one picks the other over me for whatever reason like they have tickets to a show or something.

    The jealousy has taken over my life and I just dont know what to do about it :( I suppose I just wanted to find out if anybody else can relate?
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Not so much jealousy but I will say that I often have instances of epicaricacy.

    But I guess that could definately be considered a form of jealousy.
  3. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I can definitely relate to the feelings of jealousy. Seeing someone you have a bond with end up spending all their time with someone else is extremely uncomfortable, to say the least.

    All you can do is hang in there, let the feelings run their course, then try to keep as close to your friends as possible. You can overcome this! I respond to all private messages if you want to continue this, or any other conversation.
  4. Winslow

    Winslow Antiquitie's Friend SF Supporter

    In some situations, jealousy is justified and maybe even necessary, for example, in a marital situation where a wife suspects her husband of having an affair with another lady. Such an extra-marital affair of course hurts the marriage, so jealously is justified, in order to save the relationship.

    But in the other situations described by the other post, jealousy would be self-defeating and counterproductive because it does not involve any cheating. Also because it denies a person the freedom to choose how to socialize. So the way I see it, an Extra-marital affair seems the most justifiable reason for jealousy but not the other examples.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 10, 2009
  5. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    I get so jealous. Even if my boyfriend is with his parents I am jealousy. Its horrible.
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    Jealousy usually comes from insecurities. I have many insecurities. Mostly that people will leave me. Every girl that I hang out with I get jealous when they pay more attention to someone other than me.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm not that much of a jealous person really but I have recently become jealous of a friend I used to go to school with..I haven't spoken to her in like 4 years but..

    She finished highschool,got good grades..only had 1 serious boyfriend who she is still with and is now studying for a degree(I think). So yeah me on the other hand..Im the same age and haven't accomplished anything,so maybe its natural to be jealous :dunno:
  8. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I feel jealous of people who are younger than me. Even if they're only like a year younger than me I still feel jealous :unsure: Especially if they've achieved more than me, like daisy said, like if they've got a degree or a great job or some other big achievement.
    Although to be honest they're the only things that I envy, I'm pretty chilled out usually.
    But yeah it is natural to be jealous sometimes, I agree with daisy. You should just take life at your own pace and not worry about other people though...even though it's very difficult.
  9. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    I agree with Spencer. I don't see myself as a very jealous person however I am very insecure about most things in my life.

    The only thing I think I have ever been truly jealous of is people with children, more so in the past year when it seemed that everyone I went to school with was having a baby.

    I don't tend to get jealous over material objects like houses or cars.
  10. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I can def relate to Brandons post.
    Epicaricacy will usually be what gets me talking to a person I have previously not been in contact with so that I can almost basque in their misfortune. :(
  11. Anydaynow

    Anydaynow New Member

    I have the exact same jealousy for example succesful movie stars & sportsmen I check their date of births on the net & hope their a lot older then me. Even height & muscle if someone's are greater then mine & younger that really pisses me off, I'm obssesed with how I look these these days I didn't give a rats a few years ago when i was at school.
  12. tls5669

    tls5669 Active Member

    I can relate. I get extremely jealous of other peoples happiness, even family. I think to myself "Why are they happy and Im not". Ive been miserable my ENTIRE life so getting jealous of someone else's fortunes is second nature to me.

    Like my brother, I love him, and would do anything for him, even if it cost me my life. But Im envious of him, he has a dream life, something I will never have.

    So you're not alone
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I have to admit I am jealous.. My brother in law died and left my sister $2,000,000 and two life insurance policies.. She has helped everyone in his family. But when it comes to our side of the family she hasn't helped squat.. My sister I live with is about to loose her house and my car is on it's last legs but no help coming this direction.. I did finally break down and ask her for money for my teeth because I had to..Otherwise I wouldn't ask her for anything.. It just burns my ass up that she has done so much for them..
  14. dreamachine

    dreamachine Active Member

    yeah i'm pretty insecure too and i think that comes across as jealousy to other people. like i'll get into arguments with my friends about why wasn't i included, why do you guys have secrets, or whatever else like that and i don't mean it in a jealous way, but i feel very bad when it happens because i start to panic that i'm left out because they dont want to be my friend anymore. i hate it.
  15. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend


    i think there is a difference between jealousy and envy

    i am not envious about anything. or towards anyone.

    jealousy. ouch. it has a reputation for being such a petty emotion . . . yet i could truly feel it regarding my beloved

    and it would cut far deeper than envy over material things.

    just my opinion.
  16. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    nah but when i'm fucking ill and i see people who find every day life so easy (especially the people who've trampled all over me) then yeah. i don't get jealous i just get angry.
  17. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    i can say, hand on heart, that i have never had jealousy or envy.
  18. joelttVA1

    joelttVA1 Member

    I experience exactly the same things! Whats bad about me is my photographic memory...its like a constant movie reel of all those things that make me most jealous...absolutely awful.

    But whats weird is that it follows no logical pattern. Two friends can accomplish exactly the same thing or both can start a deep relationship with someone - I can be jealous of one for the accomplishment, but fine with the other - flip that around for the other two; its puzzling to say the least.
  19. Joe1212121

    Joe1212121 Guest

    I am always Jealous and angry at people regardless of them being close to me or not. I see all these ugly people getting everything they want in life but me who is a good looking guy. I don't get jack shit. So it really makes me feel really bad inside and I question the world that god has created. I hate it when ugly people, losers and plain jackasses are more happy in life than me and get more things in life than me. I am the most jealous of though girls and women in the world who get basically everything they want in life, and this really pisses me off. I hate it that Men in the society are being treated shittier year by year and the value of women or girls is forcefully going up because they can offer people what Men don't have that is good looking body's, intelligence, and sex(This last one they are really good at). I also hate the fucking Media that is destroying the world from the movies, games, commercials and advertisements on tv about disgusting things and don't you guys always see in a fucking Hollywood movie the family always has a girl instead of a boy, I just don't get it why they don't use boys anymore like 20 years ago in family movies and when they choose boys the boys are so gay and happy. Like the wtf happened to real boys that they had to go out and get a gay boy for that part. I get really pissed off as to why Men in are being treated like shit inside the toilet in America and Well Women are the rulers. I also hate the fact that there is no fucking equality in the world today and it just keeps getting worst for Men, while Women keep getting stronger in Numbers. I also hate the fact that Men are being turned into pussy's and bitches, while Women are becoming more like Men by every year and believe me in strength also. I have a little boy Cousin who if you saw if you would think this Kid is so Gay and too happy for his age.
  20. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    No offense Joe but what makes you think that just because you are apparently 'attractive' that you deserve more out of life than people who aren't?

    Maybe you should get a skill and have more to you than just your looks - that way you might succeed at something.

    Also you sound more sexist than anything. You just contradicted yourself by saying "women are being treated more like men". So you're just jealous that women are finally getting recognised for their talents and achievements instead of just being homemakers and baby-making-machines?
    Just because you are a man, it doesn't mean you should automatically be at the forefront of everything in this world and be lathered with opportunity.

    Thus - I say once again. Get a talent or an actual skill, and maybe you might succeed at something.
    Just being MALE and attractive, does not & should not constitute as a reason for making it in this world.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 18, 2009
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