I have NEVER admitted this before, this is honestly the first time I have ever opened up and said this. I suffer from jealously pangs really badly, in fact to call them simply pangs is an understatement. I have lost friends because of it, mainly because I stopped talking to them because seeing them happy was too much for me and I couldn't be around them. Usually it happens when someone gets a boy/girlfriend I will quietly disappear from their lives, someone gets a really good job or comes into some money or just something really good happens for them, I tend to steer clear because I can't handle it. I can feel my blood boiling and my internal organs all jumping into my throat, I can hear my voice becoming more and more strained and fake, almost like I'm trying to push the words out. Ultimately I just can't cope. In some of the more extreme cases I've caused an argument so the other person would become pissed at me and stop talking to me instead of me having to find a reason not to see them. The worst thing I do though is with friends, I'll have a friend that I'm close with and another friend that I'm close with. The two of them might meet and form a friendship and that'll kill me. I can't handle it, it's so fucking childish and I hate myself for it. Shouldn't I want my friends to all get along? In some cases I've not cared, in the past I've had a big group of friends where we were all close, and sometimes we would do stuff together, sometimes we'd do stuff in twos or threes, but you know we all got along equally as well with each other. But other times it's too hard, I'll make a connection with one and I can't take it if they make the same connection with someone else and hang out together without me there, or if one picks the other over me for whatever reason like they have tickets to a show or something. The jealousy has taken over my life and I just dont know what to do about it I suppose I just wanted to find out if anybody else can relate?