Does anyone understand.."you become your enviroment."

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by HomerSimpson, Apr 6, 2008.

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  1. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    I am watching tv a while back and a preacher comes on and he says "you become your enviroment." Do you know what that means? In other words you become your surrondings. If you hang around bad people you are going to become bad. If you hang around drug users you eventually will use drugs. I totally believe it. When I around the few friends I have left I feel great. I feel I can accompolish anything. They have energy and most of all they give me some hope. Well that all changes when I enter my home enviroment. Thats when the depression and suicidal thoughts happen. Thats when the feeling of no hope is constant. My home enviroment is depressing. Literally it drains the life out of me. I am 34 and due to job lay offs and depression I am stuck living at home. I went back to college to "give me hope" but it hasnt. It just a big waste of time. So what do I do? Keep lying to myself by saying it will get better when I know it wont. I do not fear dying, I fear living this way.
  2. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I was raised in an abnormal environment. This has resulted in the abnormal individual whose post you are reading today. Is there such a thing as a normal environment?
  3. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    My mother, who lives with me, certainly cast a negative veil over my home. It does affect me sometimes. Mostly just makes me stressed though. I think your friends can affect you only if you let them. Sometimes we allow ourselves to be influenced but then we have to consider why we are friends with them in the first place if they are a bad influence. Perhaps a bit of them is already in us.
  4. peacegirl

    peacegirl Well-Known Member

    The one thing we can't change and that's our family, and that poses a double edge sword. We need their love desperately, but the people who we are closest to, who know us in and out, are the ones that usually bring out the worst in us. I think they know how to push our buttons. :dry: We can let these relationships destroy us, or we can use them to make us stronger.
  5. SadDude1980

    SadDude1980 Well-Known Member

    Wow, peacegirl, nicely said.

    I have to comment on this because this is what's making my life right now very stressful and turbulent.

    My wife wasn't raised by her parents, she was raised over in the middle east (I won't disclose the country) and she just is like, "I deserve to have a family!"

    Thing is her mother's very backward, ignorant, racist ("you should've had your kid with a man who has blonde hair and blue eyes so you could've had blonde hair and blue-eyed children!" she says in arabic to my wife in front of me the first time I come to meet her.

    After I told her brother that my mom was black and my dad was native american and Japanese, he said, "oh so you're a mutt" in a very condescending way. Who the hell is a pure bred anyway?

    Then they make comments in Arabic to each other in my face and when I asked my wife what they said, it usually wouldn't be good. "oh they were saying you're getting fat", etc.

    So yeah I don't particularly care for them. Her brother married his cousin, they hug each other inappropriately, stories of her being molested as a child by her brothers/cousins, etc.

    I believe she had an overall miserable childhood... but as peacegirl says, she seeks their love and approval because they're "family".

    So she's around them all the time now and it's made her get worse... and worse... and worse. And now we're seperated. So yeah I believe the people you hang around greatly affect you. Fortunately, hanging around my family has helped me out a lot.

    They've been very supportive and have even let me just keep to myself in their basement and drink as much/whenever I want till I go to my detox appointment on May 1. No flack or anything. I'm SO grateful for their support and help. I don't know where I'd be without them.

    But yeah I know where you're coming from. I wonder what'll happen to my wife after she stays and hangs around her family for so much. Last time she came back saying, "oh it's so good to be home!" after she stayed with them for a week. Wonder what staying there longer will do. Being that she's pride-driven I'm sure she'll try to pretend like life is peachy and that our daughter is happy with her violent change in environment and being pulled out of her school she's been going to for the past 3 years (she's autistic) and thrown into God knows where.


  6. peacegirl

    peacegirl Well-Known Member

    Ken, I totally understand where you're coming from. I believe it's extremely difficult to mesh one's lifestyle with someone from a completely different culture. It can be done, but it's a long road. I also married within my religion but he was from the Middle East; Israel, and I'm from America. I am divorced now. I was married for 22 years but he was very critical of everything I did. I eventually got ill which was a wake up call. I also have children who had to deal with the stress of it all. I just want you to know you are not alone, and things will get better. It's important that you are with your family right now. You are very blessed to have them. Just remember that we, as the human race, are evolving slowly but surely. We have to go through the growing pains in order to achieve the kind of world that we all know is possible. The comments made by your in-laws were ignorant, but they don't know better. If you can forgive them, even if it's from afar, you will begin the healing process.
  7. Ugly

    Ugly Active Member

    I feel the same way too, but you still have no excuses to kill yourselves unless your ugly like me
  8. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    HS you're spot on and my Dr raised that exact same point with me he said it's like association or is that,If you have depression and a history of it in your home environment you will struggle alot while being at home.For me it's like that I grew up with a very strict father and til this day I feel alway's uncomfortable I do wish to move out it's just I can't now.

    Then I see friend's of mine with easy going father's well mother also and mine has never been anything strict they have quite a comfortable envious home life.
  9. SadDude1980

    SadDude1980 Well-Known Member

    THe only psycho is the one who wants to kill themself over a wrinle. I'm sorry - TWO wrinkles. Freak. I'm sorry that divorce and shit is such a minor problem but WRINLES. Dear lord. Lets have mass genocide over it. WHat an asshole. Btw, I hate eggs.
  10. SadDude1980

    SadDude1980 Well-Known Member

    I can't do this. Anymore.
  11. SadDude1980

    SadDude1980 Well-Known Member

    lol a fuckin wrinke. x2 If that were my only problem.
  12. starry01

    starry01 Member

    "You become your environment" is referring to energy. Everyone and everything is made of energy (this is scentifically proven) and when an energy is particularly strong, like in a place where everyone takes drugs, a person can be influenced by the energy around them. This doesn't always happen though, only if the person's energy is vulnerable. It's the same thing when someone's mood is influenced by an angry, sad or happy household. Gangs and cultures have been formed by collections of similar energy vibrations.
  13. SadDude1980

    SadDude1980 Well-Known Member

    I wish a wrinkle was the extent of my pains. My taLLalLuma, my shit, but unfortunately some of us don't have it that good in life. My head is cracked. Literally. I don't know how. There's blood coming out. With my luck though it's not lethal.

    My "best friend" is a self righteous little shit. I have this nutcase, Ashley, calling me up in the middle of the night waking me up. My mother wants to lock me up or being sad and a drunk. I'm not mentally ill. If you were married to Natalie youd' be in bad shape too. Anyone would.

    My breath smells like where the teenage mutant ninja turtles store their pizza.

    All this happiness doesn't anyone want it?? No? Then Im gonna find a way to finish off thiss miserable wretch.
  14. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    HS i wanted to send you hugs and tell you that i believe in what you have wrote. That we become our surroundings. It is hard when we want so much to change those surroundings we live in , but even harder when we realize how much we cannot change other people. Only we ourselves can change , whether in our minds or a big move change to create better surroundings for ourselves. I hope you find your peace within yourself to know you are worth more than what you realize.

  15. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    It isn't as inevitable as all that, it just takes a lot of inner strength and/or support from others in your life, to be immune to some of the negative influences you'll encounter. It's an uphill struggle but it isn't impossible.
    The only thing I can think of is to try and bring some of that positive energy from your friends into college with you. Try to focus on them rather than your home life. It can take some serious effort but it's your choice to try to carry with you the things that lift you up, instead of those that weigh you down.
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