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Ideas & Opinions Does Christmas make you feel better or worse??

Winslow

Siamese Twin
SF Supporter
#1
Does Christmas make you feel better or worse? In my case, it used to make me feel worse, especially when I had to go to the store to get my groceries and had to listen to the Christmas music playing in the store. But nowadays it's different, ever since my Ultimate Dream came true last Xmas 2019. You could say it's the gift that keeps on giving. So yesterday when I went to Walmart to get my groceries, the Xmas music in store was good for me. Despite all the setbacks from Covid, I still like reality.
At the same time, I understand that Christmas time makes a lot of people feel worse--especially currently with the Covid and all. So I understand how the Xmas music can worsen the feelings of anguish. But what is it about Xmas that causes this? This is what I want to know. Sometimes there are even people who are normally happy, and yet Xmas still causes despondency. Why is that? Do you know? And how is it in your own life?
 
#2
I think seeing or hearing other people feeling happy can emphasise your own low mood. I don’t know about normally happy people feeling despondent at Christmas but I find I notice that I am unhappy more because it’s a time when you are supposed to be happy. I also married the eternal grinch who hates Christmas and people and who never buys presents or gives cards so there is never anything special to look forward to. Tbh I find new year even harder. I hate looking forward to a whole new year ahead full of all the things I don’t want to happen. On Christmas Day I tend to get stuck in catering for everyone else so I keep busy and occupied. This year not so many people to cater for as we’re not allowed family to come over other than my sister. I’m happy to cancel Christmas completely this year or spend it tucked up on the sofa with the tv.
 

Dante

Took 5 years to learn how to make a custom title.
SF Supporter
#3
I tend to feel both, it makes me feel exasperated and kinda empty on the lead-up, then on the day I feel happy AND sad. Christmas makes me happy, but when Im struggling generally, any time I feel too happy I NOTICE that I'm feeling happy, and then the feeling dies immediately, like it was never there, like it was fake, and the sudden absence of "happy" makes me sad for a little while until I get caught up in the festive mood again.

@Winslow I think the reason people feel sad at christmas is several things:

1) Christmas was so damned magical growing up that in adulthood, when you dont feel the same magic christmas can highlight just how little magic is left in your life as a whole, how empty your world has become, if you cant recapture every bit of christmas wonder you had when you were small it can just feel so heart-breaking that its gone.

2) There is such an expectation to christmas, it is the time of "Peace, Love and Family" and if you dont have those things christmas is almost mocking you for being alone. "Look what everyone else has, you dont have that do you?"

3) If you DIDNT have good Christmases growing up, your Christmas memories would be extra sour because of number 2 above, and having that during formative years will leave some serious baggage which gets dragged up every damned year.

My family somehow manages to muster enough christmas cheer every year, on the day at least, to avoid the above, but it is still sad sometimes thinking about the traditions we lost growing up.
 

Anonymous ID

Well-Known Member
#5
I used to hate Christmas as I was independent and separate from my family due to troubles growing up. But I've forgiven and forgotten all that and I'm really glad I did. I am now close with my family and depend on them a lot. I love Christmas now, it gives me a chance to show all those I care about how much they mean to me
 

KM76710

SWCA3110-SWHF625
SF Supporter
#6
Mainly better, I love to see children really enjoying the times but for all my worthless and hard assed self I do have a softness for children and animals and I hope that they have great families and wonderful times and memories ahead of them.
 

PhoenixLady

Well-Known Member
#7
Usually this is my favorite time of year because I get to spend time with my family and snuggle my grandchildren
But this year because of covid I will be alone
So I don’t feel great
Actually I feel awful
 
#10
The expectation of having fun at Christmas tends to make me feel worse. I tend to be the doer both before and on Christmas Day. I buy the presents, buy the food and cook the meal so that everyone else has a good time. Nobody else thinks of me. The exception this year was my sister who helped and gave me a couple of presents. But the one person I would have liked a thoughtful present from didn’t give me anything. If he could ha e ignored Christmas completely, he would have. Because he doesn’t think the day is important he doesn’t even acknowledge the things I do or the effort I put in. But this year I just resigned myself to it. This is they way that it is. He shows his love in other ways just not always the way I would like.
The days leading up to and the day itself are difficult and tend to make me feel worse. Today it is over and now at least we can move on. The next difficult one is new year. I think that it even harder.
 

Lane

SF Supporter
#11
Better now, used to be worse right after I got divorced and I was like,what did I do to my family. Now, I enjoy the festivities and create them.
 

Lux

-
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#13
Worse. Every year. Grew up not celebrating it so it's like a big party you're not invited to. It seems to start earlier every year too. It's all people want to talk about, especially when you're a child. When you get older you just look like some saddo that isnt celebrating because they don't have a choice. It is a choice by now and I'm happy with it - I'm not religious and it feels really commercialised anyway and not just something I can get on board with for some reason, but it still feels awful every year because people do this ''aw that's sad" kind of thing or just keep going on and on about it so it becomes something you dread.

I actually did something this year for my partner's benefit. I didnt decorate or anything but I kind of planned events so she wouldn't be sad about not being able to see family who celebrate etc. I wouldn't call it Christmas but as much as I liked doing that, still feels forced and uncomfortable.
 

Gonz

👫❤️🙂💊🚑💀💔😥
#16
Worse. The whole holiday season, really. For whatever reason, memories from this time of year stick with you more. Be it shitty ones you wish would go away, or the good ones that hurt because you wish they weren’t just memories.
 
#19
I have found this year particularly bad. At first I put it down to SAD and just thought I would start feeling better once we got to the 21st Dec when the days start to get longer. However, I still feel like crap and I am fed up feeling like it. I thought being off work would also help as it would mean I could get some DIY projects done at home, but don't have the energy for that either. Just hide in my bedroom watching YT videos endlessly like a stroppy teenager. It's frustrating that I don't know what it is, or how to make it better
 

Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#20
When I was a kid, felt better. But now, the best I can hope for is feeling indifferent to it all, although quite often, I'll feel myself dipping. It's not just about it being over-hyped, or how it's been hijacked by commercialism, or the falseness of it all. It's the pressures and demands at work over this period which tends to get incredibly intense, much to the point I'm practically ready to collapse and switch off completely by Xmas eve. Coupled with a series of personal events which have occured over the years, I'd prefer to say, "thank you, but no," when it comes to this time of year.
 

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