I am not sure how to explain this but I am hoping that someone will relate or will be able to shed some light on this. I have depression and I take 100mg of sertraline which may be increased in November. What I have noticed is that I seem to go through phases of being okish then I will have a period of being quite acutely suicidal and will go on a mission of self destruction. When I go through an ok phase it will usually be around 2-6 weeks. I dont feel happy but I dont often think about suicide of self harm. I can be low at times but that is as far as it goes. I dont feel particularly bad but I dont feel particularly good either so I class it as being ok. When I go through my bad phase it usually only lasts a week to two weeks but I take overdoses, cut, burn and plan on ways to kill myself. During these periods I have hallucinated, auditory and seeing things. It tends to die off when the crisis phase has finished although I still see things from time to time. Dueing this time my anxiety is through the roof and I get massively paranoid and constantly on edge. I have done some quite dangeroua things such as swallowing metal and stupid things with needles. I just wondered if this was normal cos it seems to cycle and bad phasea seem to come on randomly without cause. I have been thinking about this and just wanted to know what others think. And if there is anyway I can stop this vicious cycle. Each bad phase seems to get worsw and during these phases I do not think rationally and tend not to ask for help or acknowledge I am in crisis.