Hello I am new here, so I am a little nervous.. To be brutally honest, I am fat, gay, not attractive (and i am not being just cruel on that part it is really true, eats like its going out of style, and not a stylish dresser. No one finds me attractive, even for sex..Every time im in a crowd, i try my best to get in the back of it. When i get home, i go to my room and cry, and Idk why.. I feel i have given upon myself..Everyday i wake up and ask myself, why? I was kinda forced to go to college because my family members want me to better myself (which i feel they are looking for me to finish so they can have their hands out). I am doing all the "outside" things right for me, but in the "inside" i feel i have not done anything.. I go to college with a lot of people around and as I look around, i see people having a purpose in life. A mother, father, husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc... Then, I look at myself..i know im only 19 but i feel i do not have a purpose.. Im not a father, boyfriend, or anything..Just a kid...I feel whatever i accomplish is a waste. I get good grades in school and be the very best person i can be but i still feel it doesnt mater.. My high school years was a big joke..I laughed with people, was actually talking to people. But when i got home, i ran to my room and looked in the mirror and started to cry..I felt like i was not being real to myself. I know some people say it is not right to question but for my sanity, I want to know, why i exist? i do not know if im explaining it right QQ
EM0-@NGEL
EM0-@NGEL