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Does "everyone" have a purpose?

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Hello I am new here, so I am a little nervous.. To be brutally honest, I am fat, gay, not attractive (and i am not being just cruel on that part it is really true, eats like its going out of style, and not a stylish dresser. No one finds me attractive, even for sex..Every time im in a crowd, i try my best to get in the back of it. When i get home, i go to my room and cry, and Idk why.. I feel i have given upon myself..Everyday i wake up and ask myself, why? I was kinda forced to go to college because my family members want me to better myself (which i feel they are looking for me to finish so they can have their hands out). I am doing all the "outside" things right for me, but in the "inside" i feel i have not done anything.. I go to college with a lot of people around and as I look around, i see people having a purpose in life. A mother, father, husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc... Then, I look at myself..i know im only 19 but i feel i do not have a purpose.. Im not a father, boyfriend, or anything..Just a kid...I feel whatever i accomplish is a waste. I get good grades in school and be the very best person i can be but i still feel it doesnt mater.. My high school years was a big joke..I laughed with people, was actually talking to people. But when i got home, i ran to my room and looked in the mirror and started to cry..I felt like i was not being real to myself. I know some people say it is not right to question but for my sanity, I want to know, why i exist? i do not know if im explaining it right QQ



Well-Known Member
Hello. I'm so sorry that you feel this way, no one ever deserves to feel like this. I used to feel like I had no purpose, no reason for existing, but then I discovered theatre. Without it I am nothing, I can't begin to describe the joy that it brings me. The only reason I found it, though, was because I was randomly trying out activities at school, and it seemed like the best one.
The point that I'm trying to get across is that you live for what makes you feel good. You live for something that get's you out of that mood, for even a split second, whether it's theatre or soccer, your family or walking in the woods, spending time with your pets, having a job that makes you feel successful, whatever. I would just suggest trying out random things, finding what makes you feel amazing, and doing it, seeing if you can make a career out of it.
And I assure you, you are not fat and unattractive. You are beautiful, I can see it without even looking at you, just by looking at this post. The fact that you were willing to pour this out to strangers shows that you are strong, stronger than you know. You can do this, and you will find someone that makes you happy.


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Personally I believe that everyone on this earth has a purpose. However, I can see how at times it may be very difficult for people to believe that based on their past or whatever the current circumstances in their life are. There have been times in my life when I was positive that I had no purpose on this Earth and I just wanted to be gone. In fact, to this day, I really still am not sure what my purpose is. But I honestly believe now that if we all just hang on it'll become obvious to us sooner or later. I know we'd all like to know right this moment, but unfortunately it's just not possible.

That's good that you're going to college though. Education is always a good thing. I'm sorry to hear you've had such a rough past with your feelings, but I'm sure you have or will eventually have reasons for wanting to be here.

Oh, and welcome to the forums:).


Well-Known Member
Sorry that you're hurting. I have also been struggling with the purpose thing...
All I can say is, please don't give up. You're really young, what do you want out of life? You can still be all those things that you want to be, well most of them.

If your a good person, if you do good things, than there is no real reason that you shouldn't like yourself. What is it that you don't like? Is it the weight thing? Or something else...?
If you pinpoint it down to what exactly it is it might be easier to change, and you do have your whole life ahead of you to accomplish what it is that you want. Your age is not an age to give up on life...

Like someone else stated... you're not an unattractive person. It is so much more than the appearance that makes a person attractive. Not everyone wants the textbook good looking guy. Hell, I even find them to be a turn off most of the time. No really, there is nothing I like more than a caring person with the heart at the right place, not a six pack on the stomach. So there you go, if I think like that, others must to!

I can't really help with finding your purpose in life, since I don't know what you feel passionated about or interested in, but good luck with it.
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Well-Known Member
You want to be a father at 19? Really?

One of your problems is, you are looking at others, deeming them "successful" (you don't even know them), and in turn, comparing that self-perceived "success" with your, again, self-perceived lack of "success."

How about seeing these comparisons to the door and start living for you. Go at your own pace. Purpose is defined by the individual, and comparing yourself to others will get you on the fast track to nowhere as far as where finding your purpose is concerned.
My thoughts are our own ability to change what we don't like about ourselves.
To try to be a better person.
Beauty comes from within, when we let that shineout,people you want in your life will be attracted to the glow.
I don't see you as having "problems"
I do see you as having very low self esteem.
So, how do we do work on this?
If you feel you are overweight............... perhaps look at some more exercise or alter your diet.
If you feel you are not being kind to yourself...............start being kind, that means simple things, like taking time out to do stuff you like and holding your own heart by being nice to others.
I often wonder why people expect others to think the same as they do.......simple fact is...they don't.
Be you, like yourself for being you.
How do you achieve this? By intention to change for the better and kindness to yourself and others.
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