Does hacking my boyfriend's facebook and hotmail make me paranoid?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by A_pixie, Feb 19, 2009.

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  1. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I did it because he's so dumb at times, he sees a pretty girl and all of a sudden the blinkers are on and he flirts. Girls are bitchy and slutty and trick him into thinking he isn't happy when he is. He has told me all this so it's not me just seeing what I want to see.

    So I hacked his facebook and hotmail to see if he's being honest about the flirting ceasing and it has.....but now I check it every day it's become an obsession. I wish I trusted him!

    Im starving myself to get thinner for him because he prefers thinner women. I know it sounds pathetic but I love him :'( he doesn't want me to starve myself but it's the only way I can get thin as seven years of bulimia has fucked up my metabolism.

    Does it sound like I have a disorder? Or do people in love just do crazy things? :S
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I think it sounds like your relationship is not a healthy one. Does he know what you do?

    I do think you need to work through the issues you feel because no one is worth starving yourself for. He doesn't want you to harm yourself, so therefore starving yourself for him does not make sense, because its not actually what he wants. Also, starving yourself will only mess your metabolism further and make you more inclined to put on weight. If you eat a healthy balanced diet then your metabolism will adjust and your body will naturally find a healthy weight for you.

    I don't think anyone here should say whether or not you have a disorder, but I do think that you clearly are in pain and that does need addressing. Do you have a professional you can talk to?
  3. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    One simple question: How would you react if he did to you what you did to him?
  4. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't be happy but Ive given him no reason to be suspicious of infidelity (thats how I justify it....I know its wrong tho)

    I don't have a professional to talk's so odd he says I'm not fat but could lose a little weight, it's not my fault Ive been bulimic for seven years and its messed up my metabolism :( he keeps changing his mind hes a very easily confused person.

    Everything was fine until some stupid cow stuck her nose in and wouldnt stop hassling him. He deleted her number etc without me askign him to he didnt want to lose me...

    I don't know what to do. I'm paranoid and wasting all of my time online spying on him this is seriously not healthy :<
  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Would you be willing to find a professional to address your problems with?

    I think you need to be honest with him, personally.
  6. SadPandaBear

    SadPandaBear Well-Known Member

    relationships without trust and honesty, arent relationships worth keeping.

    Especially if you're feeling insecure about your body/weight...not a healthy relationship for either of you.
  7. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I agree with all that has been said.
    Your relationship doent sound healthy at all. the paranoia and the starvation to be thin for him. he's with you even though he likes "thin" women. ever considered that?
    try get a professional to talk to, and be honest with him abbout looking at his accounts. he may be extremely hirt by it. :hug:
  8. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    how about how YOU feel , about yourSELF? do you think HE would starve himself thin for you? or for any woman??

    we are supposed to be women...not stick figures. not toys. and not objects.

    does he love your heart, does he feed your soul??

    you can be whole and complete and beautiful and wonderful. without him or any other male.

    be whole FIRST. then. . . share a life with someone who appreciates health and beauty and if he is a real man he will be cool with curves on a woman.

    i am SO totally in your corner. (sign me 20 year E.D. but no more) xxx
  9. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    You need to quit with the spying if you want this relationship to continue, and sooner or later you have to accept his word, or move on.
  10. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Oh hun I know exactly what you are going through. It's hard. But remember, your boyfriend hasn't given you any reason to not trust him.
    I used to be just like this, eventually you need to just learn to give him the trust he deserves, I know it's hard.
    PM me if I can help at all :hug:
  11. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Yes, you're paranoid. Guys flirt(I'm a girl btw), it doesn't mean they are going to shag every woman they lie their eyes on. It just means they are human. I think what you're doing is a huge invasion of privacy and if he does find out I doubt that he'd stay with you for much longer if at all.

    As for the starving yourself. If you feel insecure about your body then slowly lose the weight. Eat healthy, drink lots of water, exercise, don't starve yourself because all it's doing is killing healthy cells in your body. I'm overweight and the way to do is not by trying to not eat. Do you think your boyfriend would love you with no hair, teeth falling out and sunken in eyes? That's where it'll end you up if you keep doing what you're doing. Sure you might have a rockin' body in the end BUT at what expense....your life?! Is his love really worth you ending up with nothing at all?

    I think you need to talk to him about your insecurities because frankly if you can't communicate with him about how you're feeling then that's not a relationship.
  12. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    You're invading his personal space and you sound unhappy with yourself. Being thinner isn't going to make him stay with you. Being this/that/the other/ spying on him isn't going to make him stay with you. Are you terrified of him leaving you? Are you scared to be alone? Maybe you need to look at yourself, why you're starving yourself and why you feel the need to be hacking into your BF's personal life, because he is entitled to a life separate from yours.

    What he said about your body, is effecting you so much because you're in the grips of an eating disorder, a very separate issue, perhaps than what you're making it out to be (but maybe he activates it by saying harmful things to you).

    It sounds like you're relying on him way too much to make you feel good. And you're terrified of him cheating, why? Is it because you feel like you're not good enough? That's your personal issue which you're using to invade his personal space, by hacking into his accounts.
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