Does Having Depression Turn Normal People Off You?

Discussion in 'Opinions, Beliefs, & Points of View' started by Shogun, Jun 9, 2009.

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  1. Shogun

    Shogun Well-Known Member

    I'm not just talking turning people off you regarding sexual attraction, but friendship mainly.

    It seems a never ending circle. You're depressed, so you can't muster a smile or lift your mood to appear positive to others, so others avoid or ignore you which makes you even more depressed which drives people away even more.

    I guess it's kinda obvious, but I need someone else to confirm it for me. Does having depression turn normal people off you regardless of what you look like, how nice a person you are deep down or how interesting you might be deep down?
  2. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    It seems that way to me. Especially if you're actively upset. People can't take strong emotion. At. All.
  3. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Yeah, all the people I met since I moved to Toronto stopped talking to me when they found out I'm depressed. Thanks, assholes.
  4. Tavil

    Tavil Well-Known Member

    Yes, Its why i haven't had a date or real friend in years.
    People seem to be able to smell it on you cause they keep far away from you.
    Its just an endless shitty cycle of rejection.
  5. ShinyPanda

    ShinyPanda New Member

    Sometimes. I find the friends worth having, look past all that.
  6. Tavil

    Tavil Well-Known Member

    Problem is finding those friends. Their very few and far between.
  7. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Yes, and I'm glad. Normal people suck, they irritate me. It seems a couple fellow loners and damaged people like myself are my only friends now.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Yes definitely,without a doubt.
  9. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Oh, I missed part of the title. The girl I offended most with my depression, I believe her to be depressed and in denial.
  10. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    depends on the person and how close they are to you. I dont think you can make friends if you act depressed on the outside though, no one wants to approach the cold, miserable, lonely person
  11. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    I don't know, really. Probably. I never really cared much so I never actually thought about it.
  12. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    It can turn people off who are uncomfortable by the subject. But the important thing is being open and finding friends who don't mind.
  13. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Yesss they don't know how to handle it. Or rather I don't know how to act happy when I'm not. And if someone depresses you, you avoid them.
  14. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    Definitely 100%.
  15. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    My dad told me it does, and he's seen it. I guess I haven't, but I'm starting to.
  16. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I'm just going to offer yet another resounding yes, absolutely, 100%, without a doubt to this also.

    I manage to hide my depression quite well from people I don't know very well or see very often, it's the ones who try to see me on a regular basis that I fail to hide it from.

    The most understanding people I know are the other depressed people, fellow sufferers, those who understand. They are more willing to be patient and have empathy, and the same goes for me. It's always easier to be friends with people who 'get it'.

    An ex friend once said to me that I was draining, I constantly brought her down and she had been nothing but patient with me and my mood swings and my constant breaking of plans & my sensitivity to everything, she was sick of me crying when I'd had a drink and couldn't bring herself to console me anymore. She was sick of my lack of enthusiasm most of all because she was such a chipper person but said I was sucking the life out of her enthusiasm because she felt like she had to be enthused enough for the both of us.
    She said she had tried so hard, but I was too much hard work and being around me was now making her depressed.

    For me that pretty much sums up how normal people feel.
  17. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Uh, let's see...YES, YES, YES and ..........................YES!

    However, I attract more depressed people who I have become friends with. Most of these friends have the same interests as I do which works out perfectly.
  18. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Most definitely.
    When I was in my teens it was not as bad, a few saw my scars and would want to talk to me. I made a few friends that way. Now people seem to back away from them or if they ask what they are (sort of obvious what they are two 3in scars on my left wrist) they change the subject quickly. I have one on my neck that I say is a biopsy because a person freaked when I said what it was.
    In relationships I am have been labeled "too much work", so I don't bother any more, just hurts too much.

    One thing I do think is we do is have an air or aura of sadness that drives people away, scares them because they don't want to deal with their own emotions and/or our feelings are too strong and intense for them.

    Either way I am glad I met you guys cuz I would have nobody to talk to otherwise

  19. Shogun

    Shogun Well-Known Member

    One of the reasons why I asked this question is because even the depressed people who I met on this and other depression based sites are starting to ignore or avoid me these days. :D And I'm certain it's because of my negative attitude.

    I'm probably just paranoid to be honest. I suffer with paranoia too.
  20. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I suppose sometimes people get a bit frustrated with constant pessimism when they are wanting to help and support you & help themselves.
    It's strange because I have entire periods where there is nothing anyone can say - I am down, there's no way up, no matter what someone comes up with, it'll go in one ear and out the next, there is no hope for me, let me be.

    But other times, I'm willing to listen to suggestions, try new things, attempt something I haven't yet tried and explain my progress, just try to see the light and find some hopefulness. And those are the times when I feel so much better because I'm not wallowing in my depression.

    You know how people sometimes say fake it until you make it?
    I try to fake the hopefullness even when I'm not feeling that way. Give it a shot! It might help? :)
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