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does it ever get better?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by lostgirrrl21, Nov 3, 2011.

  1. lostgirrrl21

    lostgirrrl21 New Member

    i've been feeling like this for about a year and a half. i just feel soo alone in this world. suicide has crossed my mind about twice a week for the past two months. sometimes i get the feeling that everyone i talk to is just annoyed by me and wants me to shut up and leave them alone. i've never been the popular girl in all my life. i've always one had a few good friends here and there.

    there have been days where i thought it was getting better, but then it just goes right back to the same way it was before. i hate feeling so alone. i sit in my room on my computer and just think about all the fun that everyone else is having while i'm at home doing nothing.

    on top of everything, i think i might be in love with my sister's boyfriend of four years. he's the one guy i trust in this world and yet i know i can't have him. who would ever choose me over my sister? no one. every time i see them together i just get sooo jealous. as i said before i MIGHT be in love with him. i'm not so sure yet. sometimes i think it's just because i feel alone and miss feeling loved.

    i'm not sure if this is what this site is meant for. and if it isn't meant for this, then you can just ignore this. i just felt like letting it all out...
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    The site is meant for people to post such tales as yours.
    I am sorry you feel so lonely. Do you have hobbies or anything where you can join a group of folk with similar interests?

    As for your sister's bf, he is not available, if he knew you like he does know and was single who knows, unfortunately he is not single. Maybe your feelings or just because you know him and feel at ease around him, as you say.
  3. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Yes, it gets better. My adolescent/teen years were hellish, with uncertainty about everything. Friends that weren't friends, classes that didn't click, trying to make sense of the opposite gender. Hang in there.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Keep posting hun okay venting let out all the thoughts sadness ect it does help
  5. pbobble

    pbobble Well-Known Member

    It definitley can get better, I 've been experiencing depression for about 18 months too. Pretty much wanted to die the whole time, suicidal everyday for 2-3 months this, and two attempts.

    Yet before today I've been feeling much better, for almost a month. Pretty much no suicidal thoughts, or general wanting to die. I view today as a blip and think I'm on an upward trend. I really thought I was beyond help, in a bad life situation, but have found things that are working for me. So I believe things can improve. Keep letting it out it can help.
  6. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    I hope so. I honestly know how that feels. Thinking that everything's going to get better and then WHAMMO! Back at square one. Someday...