Does it ever get easier?

[whoamiboo]

Death of a loved one.... Does it ever get easier? Some say yes! I've heard that many times in my life but I have to say no on my end. It's been 20 years since my true love committed suicide we were young back then. Her death feels like yesterday. She was 17 when she took her own life with a heroine overdose. Amazing how the years have flown by but the memories are still open wounds. I have been a member here ( this forum )for a long time but only posted 14 times prior to tonight. I have been feeling uneasy about drugs and suicide. I'm not saying that I want either but my thoughts have been on both. I can't shake this feeling inside of me. I talked to my therapist last week about my troubles but no medication can take this pain I feel locked up inside of me. She can only talk she really can't relate.

 

[emily83]

i'd say in terms of the greeving process, yes, it does get easier over time. in terms of the memories, well, that's something that i think will stick with you... no matter how many years down the line it is. no one should ever have to go through something like that

 

[whoamiboo]

I often wonder how much time it takes. You are right the memories are locked into place but hurt is like yesterday vivid in my mind. I guess no matter how many prescribed pills I take (meaning only the ones on doctors orders) it does NOT get easier for me. Yet I often think of what I should have done to stop it. She was self destructing due to "me" in her suicide note and finally she went to far where it took her life. Herion is a miserable demon, it makes you ( me) wonder why that was always drug of choice. I hate August arghhhh!

 

[emily83]

well, hang in their.... things will start to improve.

as i say... grief has no time limit