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Does it ever go AWAY?????

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Cr8z_b4, Nov 12, 2008.

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  1. Cr8z_b4

    Cr8z_b4 Antiquitie's Friend

    i am so tired of crying thats all i do... i keep thinking that i am getting stronger and stronger each year and then the days come and i break down and ball. Today would have been 14 years that we would have been married. Does the guilt ever go away? People say that its not your fault, and i truly try to understand that, but deep down i cant. I do believe that it is since i moved on without him. If only i had not divorced him he would not have killed himself. Now doesnt that just sound like i am a Queen??? I'm not saying that i am, i am just saying that i was the one that took care of him (unlike his bio family) and not using him or abusing him like they did. I continue to feel that he had hopes that perhaps we could work things out but i didnt give him that chance, or another chance or enough chances. Hell i have no clue... other than i know that i still hurt like it was that Christmas night when i found out, and it takes me back to the days when i myself want to end my life. Why should i live? why do i deserve to?
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Cr8z. You have to stop beating yourself up over this. You did not cause your ex to commit suicide. That was entirely his decision. You guys couldn't work out your differences, thus you ended your relationship. Yes, it is unfortunate that he chose to end his life, but don't blame yourself. He is dead and is not coming back. You still have your life to look forward to. You have to let him rest in peace and move on with your life. Otherwise, your depression will take over. :hug:
  3. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    My girl is in the process of slowly abandoning me, and I'm sinking deeper and deeper... I was hoping I could produce something comforting here... I just hope she'll come back before I do it.

    I don't want to cause her the pain that you're feeling, but I can't take mine anymore.
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    So often when things such as this happen the survivor feels guilt. You may know with your mind that you are not at fault, but your heart somehow lags behind. Remember that the decision to end his life belongs to your ex and your ex only. There were others options available to him, yet he chose this way out. You have nothing to feel guilty about. I am sorry you have had to suffer this loss and for the effect it has had on you. Please take care and stay safe. :hug:
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Cr8z,
    :sup: You need to let him go. It wasn't your fault! It's like any of us who are suicidal, it isn't any ones fault but those of us who decide it is time to go. From what you posted you did all you could do to make your relationship work. It was not to be. So you moved on and he stayed behind stewing in his own misery.
    He obviously was suicidal for quite a while, because it isn't a spur of the moment thing. You have to plan how, when, why. So do you see my point. he was thinking about it for some time.
    You have a full life ahead of you so let go and start living for yourself!!! We will always be here if you need to talk. All you have to do is PM one or some of us and we will listen to you and offer what advice that we can, we definitly will be here for you. Stay Strong!~Joseph~
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