Does it ever go away

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by mixedemotions, Jan 31, 2009.

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  1. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    I have suffered from depression for four years now, and every day I feel that I'm losing this terrifying battle.

    I'm finding it harder to cope every day, and I'm losing all hope I ever had.

    Dont get me wrong the 4years have gone up and down, but now i can feel i'm going into a deep state of depression. I dont want to go back there...

    Not again.
    Not now.

    All I want to know is, does the depression ever go away?
    Will I ever be truely happy again?
    Will I ever be able to live a normal life?
  2. Rachel123

    Rachel123 Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure what to tell you..... I DO know that people have gotten through it before. I too have asked myself the same things though. :(
    Hopefully we can get through it together!
  3. RedBall

    RedBall Member

    I understand how you both feel. I’ve had depression all my life and I don’t know what to do about it anymore. I don’t see how I can ever not feel this way as it is all I know. I’m now at a stage where I’m going to loose everything I have as I cant continue in my job as it’s too much of a pressure for me. I don’t know how other people cope and how they can live.

    Sorry I dont have any answers :sad:
  4. Rachel123

    Rachel123 Well-Known Member

    ^^ I'm sorry to hear that RedBall :(
  5. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi . i wonder the same thing myself.

    but. when i look at all the caring people here at this site - it makes me realize the world is a really miraculous place - and i believe there is something we learn - by gutting through the hardest of hard times..... and not giving up. we learn. we teach. we love.

    what power, is greater than love?

    pm me anytime you want to talk. everyone here cares about you :hug:
  6. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Hmmm...who knows. I can never understand how some people can say they've never truly felt like the world around them was a black hole swallowing up everything in its path.

    I don't think my depression will every fade away completely, but with exercise, counseling and medication you can have more good moments than bad. Hang in there - it's all anyone can do :)


  7. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    yes, one day.
    it may not be anytime soon but with time it will come.
    as you have said its been up and down and it will be like that but one day things will slowly start to get better.
  8. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    First of all I would like to say Thank you to you all, for all your supporting words.

    I have had the exercise, the counseling and the medication, they all work for a short time but then the affects soon fade away to nothing again.
    I understand that I just have to just keep on trying, trying until the depression goes away, but i'm finding it all to hard right now.

    I use a range of coping methods, but lately none of them are working. after i have done doing them, the apin all keeps rushing back.

    Before all my depression I used to run, I just used to run for a hobbie, It made me feel amazing, free from the stress of every day life, free from the pain, nothing could get in my way. it was just me and the road... but now I when i run i dont get that same feeling. I cant explain it. it just isnt the same.
    I used to love running, but now when i run, i know i'm not goin to enjoy it, bcoz i know that the pain is still going to be there.

    I paint, draw (any thing arty), this helps alot, but some times i'm afraid to paint what i really feel, incase some one sees them. I wouldn't want them to see what was really in my head, all the pain. God i'm so messed up.

    I've done the writing... some days i just write and write and still it doesn't mae any sense at all.

    I have been have councilling and been on meds for just over a year now. This method is good, i would advice any one to get proffesional help, but same days i just come out my sessions feeling worse. I feel worse knowing that my pysc now has my problems to think about...

    I don't know what else to try. I've done every thing.
  9. Black31

    Black31 Active Member

    I know exactly how u feel Mixedemotions, I keep on asking myself the same thing! "Does it ever go away?" Like you I've tried everything possible to get myself better but it's still a constant struggle. I guess you have to keep challenging the negative thought patterns in your head and replace them with new positive ones. How did your depression first come about? I guess if it was a traumatic event then you need to deal with all the hurt and emotions that struck you at that time. I know some people can suffer depression just from a chemical inbalance rather than a trauma to bring it on....

    Keep the faith and believe in yourself :smile:(u can only try!)
  10. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    Well for me it is a bit of both, they think I have an inbalance of chemical, and that is why i take the meds...

    but i have also gone some traumatic things.... I was abused as a child,
    but 4years my brother got sent to prison and i have been messed up ever since. it left as though i lost him, and things would never be the same.
    (can i just say my brother is not in prison, due to the abuse....people often jump to that conclusion when i tell them my 'story')

    I have so many problems to over come. the abuse and my brother going to prison is just the tip of the ice berg.
  11. Clockwork Reality

    Clockwork Reality Well-Known Member

    I don't know if it ever goes away. I've been living with it for seven years now and I finally have gotten to a point where I say, "all hope is lost, may as well keep going and see how this ends." I don't feel in control of my life, more like I'm a spectator.

    I really think that it's possible to snap out of depression, but I don't know if everyone can. I wish that was more helpful that it really was. :sad:
  12. Black31

    Black31 Active Member

    Sorry to hear of your childhood abuse and your brother in prison Mixedemotions, that's very sad indeed. How do u cope on a day to day basis with depression?

    I became very ill with crohn's disease in my early teens and didn't accept the illness very well. I've been left in a state of depression ever since. I think it's also become very habitual too. I guess accepting our traumas and dealing with them as best as we can, is the way forward really. Finding interests and hobbies is good for the mind too. Having a good supportive circle of friends and family is vital too. Having a good moan is good for the soul!
  13. UndeddMonkey

    UndeddMonkey Member

    It goes away sometimes. For me it always comes back. For me depression acts like a poltergeist. I am against medication because I realize it inhibits my own human functions. It offers no solutions and no matter how inefficient what I have inside myself, what I have inside myself is useful and does manifest permanent change sometimes, however slowly.
    That being said - I want to mention that I have struggled with depression for such a length of time. I didn't suffer it at the time of my first run of suicide attempts somehow I eventually got to know it. I do hate it, it is way too consuming. Of course I have been forced into bondage by it, that's the way I perceive it. For some years now I have been considering it a natural defense mechanism inherent to the human mind. Since then I've drawn my lines in the sand and so has my depression. Also since I have stopped fighting against it I find I can step further over it's line than it can over mine. I consider that progress. After all I'm depressed and my depression is a product of myself - a part of me. Whatever the reason... Well, I don't understand - But I'm not going to fight against myself. If it's a part of me then I'll not try to cancel it's existence. I recognize it as a part of me and therefore I believe it has a natural function. I'm not fighting depression (and I don't recommend anyone doing so). It's like anything else that is inhibiting to me now. Before, I slit my wrist to fight it and once jumped out a third story window (should have jumped off the roof but I don't actually remember the incident - people showed me pictures though). Since I've accepted and entertained depression (as in the mental state of being clinically depressed) without medication and reflected and contemplated what it is in me and understood what realm of effect it can have and what it's purpose is -- my next subsequent suicide attempts (I stopped counting when I ran out of fingers) did not leave any permanent physical damage.
    Depression is a horrible thing to experience. I have recognized it as a natural function inherent to and produced by facilities that are built into the human body and/or mind for the purpose of protecting us from what we could never or should never know (maybe serial killers and schizophrenics lack the physical facilities and therefore ability to become depressed).
    It is possible to get better. To get over it and to get through it are two different things. I believe both are possible. I don't believe it is something to be fought. I don't believe it should be embraced either... Just recognized for what it is (and perhaps made into a tool - if ya got the salt).
    The pain is the most undesirable aspect of depression. The destruction it manifests in ones life is second to that (hopefully). People do get through it though. I haven't but I know if I last long enough I will.
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Mixedemotions,

    I'm sorry to hear you were abused.
    Have you had therapy to help you deal with it? :hug:

    I don't know if it will ever go away, but there's always a chance it will. So keep holding on, we are all here to help you. :handinhand:
  15. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    I am currently having therapy, for a range of reasons. but i didnt tell my pysc until recently ( december) that i was abused.

    My pysc wants to go into the problem deeper, but some times i am afraid of what i should and should not say. i understand that every i do tell him in confidentail. but still deep down, in my back of my head, i am terrified that if i was to say to much, he would have to tell some one....

    the police, i dont know. but i think he would if he thought others were in danger
  16. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    the biggest and strongest coping method i have on a dayly basis, is my amazing boy friend Josh. and my niece and nephews. just seeing them dayly makes me feel a little better.
    they seem to make all the problems worth well.
    and the site... these things really help.

    I also work in a school ( im training to be a teacher) working with the children really helps me, knowing that prehaps i could help them have a good childhood, allow them to escape their problems. I want to help children. i would never want them to suffer the way i did as a child.
  17. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    Yes, there is hope that it will get better.
    Most cases do go away eventually. Only a small percentage have it permanently(from what I have read)

  18. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    so i shouldn't give up all hope just yet....
  19. miss sixty

    miss sixty Active Member

    Ive coped with it on and off for 19 years, it never goes away:sad:
  20. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    Nope. I've been in this unhappy marry-go-round for five years and counting. And I may fall back into suicidalness ...

    But currently I'm feeling better than I have in years, and I never thought I'd get better. So there is always hope :) :smile:
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