Does it really matter whether I can move on or not? I mean, there is nothing I can do to change things and even if things will be better, I have no way of knowing how or when so I ain't sure why must I try to convince myself anymore. Its just pathetic. When I first realize, how lonely I am all along, I feel like its no doubt that nothing will change ever again. I have to be prepared for everything bad that might happen cause it feels like I have expected that nothing good will turn out no matter how much I needed it. Despite the fact that I always said I won't give up and all, I turn out to be a hypocrite myself. I am helpless, I can't do nothing to change things and yet I am saying there is hope, that there is something to look forward to? I guess I am wrong. Everything is just too overwhelming now, nothing look or feels right. I can't deny I am closer to the end of things, all I hope for is to live these few moments to the fullest, yet I know I can't do much, maybe not anymore. Anyhow, I am not sure why do I still care. I realize now, that some people are meant to be alone and nothing can change that and even if happiness comes, its never gonna last. Love? Yeah I can dream of it. Nothing I can do if I don't deserve it..yet thats what I needed most.