I have been not doing anything since I lost my job due to Covid during training. It was heartbreaking to say the least and I felt really discouraged since i was 21 and never had a job and now almost 22 and still not doing anything in life. It is hard to find a job to even a minimum wage job during an economic crisis. I couldn't even find a job and i spend hundreds of hours getting one. I am honestly thinking the only way i can make money at this point is being one of those shady youtuber's who manipulate the algorithm so naive kids that don't know any better watch and usually has bad intent. I have no respect for people who use an audience like just so they can get some trendy clothing, jewelry or whatever they want to "flex".
I am honestly pretty hard on myself I was born sightly autistic and because of this I would always call myself a retard, sperg, mong or whatever sort of really offensive word to call myself stupid and I still do to this day. I have huge doubts in my intellect and honestly my negativity has gotten worse to the point where I literally thought that I would be 40 years old and my parents are near if not dead while shitting myself living at another persons house being a waste of space. I honestly think if I killed myself the world would be a better place so that one person doesn't have to view negativity and was wasting it's resources.
I honestly think i could never achieve anything in life because I really do believe that no matter how much hard work I put into something I will always fail. Even if I spent hundreds if not thousands of hours practicing a skill I would still be below average even if that skill is something anyone can do easily. Think about it If I couldn't even get a job at working a minimum wage job as a wallgreens cashier (that I had to get a special ed program to do btw that wasted even more time) getting paid twice as less as some other countries minimum wage. What makes you think that I can be a worthy human being in life.
idk if people are going to read this but if you do pls let me know If i can really get better at anything.
I am honestly pretty hard on myself I was born sightly autistic and because of this I would always call myself a retard, sperg, mong or whatever sort of really offensive word to call myself stupid and I still do to this day. I have huge doubts in my intellect and honestly my negativity has gotten worse to the point where I literally thought that I would be 40 years old and my parents are near if not dead while shitting myself living at another persons house being a waste of space. I honestly think if I killed myself the world would be a better place so that one person doesn't have to view negativity and was wasting it's resources.
I honestly think i could never achieve anything in life because I really do believe that no matter how much hard work I put into something I will always fail. Even if I spent hundreds if not thousands of hours practicing a skill I would still be below average even if that skill is something anyone can do easily. Think about it If I couldn't even get a job at working a minimum wage job as a wallgreens cashier (that I had to get a special ed program to do btw that wasted even more time) getting paid twice as less as some other countries minimum wage. What makes you think that I can be a worthy human being in life.
idk if people are going to read this but if you do pls let me know If i can really get better at anything.