Does it really get easier..

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by cren, Jan 20, 2016.

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  1. cren

    cren Well-Known Member

    people always say that everything will be okay.. that things will get easier or things will work out in the end.. and i should just hang on.. and never let the urge to kill myself get the best of me.. if it really does how come it seems i just feel worse everyday.. i do get brief moments of clarity of mind and bouts of good mood.. but generally things are awful.. it's like the world is totally against me.. it seems things never stop being fucked up.. i hate everything about my life..
     
  2. Inanimate

    Inanimate Well-Known Member

    I've felt... precisely the same way. I'd like to say something more helpful, or rather, say something optimistic in regard to my experience, but all I can say at the moment is: evidently, it has gotten easier for people, and it can get easier for the both of us as well. It's a possibility.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2016
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  3. cren

    cren Well-Known Member

    i really hope it does.. i almost did something really horrible last night.. and everyday the urge to do self-harm.. or to end my life.. is getting more difficult to deal with..
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I cannot speak for everyone, but things DID get better for me, I recovered from suicidal thoughts which was extremely hard with therapy and medication but it worked out in the end. There was a point in my life where I couldn't even leave the house but I found my way of life through professional help and I really hope the same happens for you. No one deserves to feel the wrath of depression, not my worst enemy. It is hard. It's a long road but with help hopefully things will start looking brighter.
     
  5. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    It can, and it has for me. I won't lie though, I went through a period a few years ago where I was in a similar position thought wise. I did not see much hope and things were not getting any better, in fact I'm pretty sure they got worse. Try to take each day at a time. What you are trying to do is hard and you are going to have bad days. If you surround yourself with support, both professionally and socially you can begin to recover and with time things are likely to get easier.
     
  6. Nikolle7517

    Nikolle7517 Member

    Hey Cren, I hear you my friend!!!!! I struggle with those same thoughts of both self harm and suicide and have for years. Things are different for each person but what I have found is that though sometimes I don't care and don't want to live, I find some pretty cool things happen despite me. For example, I happened to have had a really bad night last night myself. But this afternoon I received a letter from a lady who turns out to be my Grandmother. A lady I have not met before but that wants to get to know me. She has even accepted me as one of her own because though I only had the step Grandmother she in fact, was my Mother's real Mom. And my point in telling you that is this, things do get better for a time and those moments can be so worth it. And even if they don't, there are still some amazing things that can happen in the middle of it. I don't want to make promises that it will be better, but I CAN say it can all be worth it to stick it out. And you know that we are here to help you any way we can. Haha, even this newbie here. Lol :)
     
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  7. cren

    cren Well-Known Member

    thanks guys.. i really do appreciate your effort to make me feel better.. it's ironic that strangers would spare time to help me.. while my family is either oblivious or really ignoring how down i feel most of the time..
     
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  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Blood is not always as thick as water. And sometimes we have to just accept that they cannot grasp or understand what you are going through. It may not be their fault, they may not know how to handle or deal or cope with it as it's an ''invisible illness'' but don't let that get you down, you have SF and hopefully other supports around you. I don't even know you that well and I care because no one should feel like this. Maybe talk with your family for a final time? If they don't get it then just leave it, they cannot see what you're going through ((hugs )) to you!!!!
     
  9. Nikolle7517

    Nikolle7517 Member

    I agree with Petal. Maybe blood used to be thicker than water, but it hasn't been for a long time now. Like Petal, I can also say that I really care. Sadly, it is those of us who have the illnesses that can understand more than anyone else. I live with a Grandma and I am around many others who totally buy into the myths that have went around for so long. Sometimes, we are each others best support. Because of the fact that we can say no one deserves to feel this way, we can truly care for one another. Even if we don't know the person. I hope you take care of yourself & stay strong!!!!!!!!! ;-)
     
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  10. cren

    cren Well-Known Member

    i'm actually starting to believe things will get easier.. i do.. i want to believe it badly..

    but i just want things to end now.. when i think of the things that may happen in the future.. i just can't stop thinking it's probably about time i give up on my life.. that there's nothing really good to happen ever.. it's like a continuous cycle of pain and hope.. i hate my life.. why do i even existed.. i hate it when i'm given false hope that things will be fine.. i hate feeling fine one moment, then feeling shit the next.. nothing's really going to work out.. i'm just deluding myself in believing that it will.. it never does.. not for me..
     
  11. Nikolle7517

    Nikolle7517 Member

    Cren, I know the feeling myself. Only I don't feel well at all so I cannot imagine losing what little hope you may have. I just know (and sorry for the delay.......not been on because my Grandma has been sick the last few weeks........) that I hold on to the support of what few people in my life DO understand. I have a lady I love like a Mother who helpes me & even a Piano teacher with her own Chronic Depression. And of course, if I can ever stay clear from issues here, the SF community. But I am hoping you are doing OK, I am thinking about you guys and for what it is worth I am praying/sending well wishes your way!!!!!!! (Whichever you prefer, I don't judge.) :)
     
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