Does it sound like this guy likes me?

[Avarice]

I know this belongs on some silly teen forum or something like that.. but I'm agonizing over this stupid guy because he's playing hot and cold and I can't figure out what he wants from me. So I'd really appreciate your opinions on this.

Well, there's this person I like, and I can't figure out if he likes me or not. We met at college a few years ago and were kinda casual friends for a while before we lost touch when he had to leave for some reason.. now we recently got back in touch (say four months ago ish) and he's been really pervy and stuff with me. Flirty, funny, etc., and at first I was kinda off about it because I don't really like pervy stuff, especially from people out of the blue that I haven't spoken to in a while, but I kinda got used to it and now I flirt back and all that.

So now we're both really flirty and he's sent me pictures of his uhm, goods, and convinced me to send ones of mine back. He's made comments in the past about protecting me from bad people (he's a policeman) but in a jokey manner..

So lately I've been very attentive towards him.. I've kinda sat up and noticed him a lot more and realised that I really like him. So I dropped a subtle hint about him taking me out for dinner and a movie if he wants to get laid or anything (because we were talking about how I'm a virgin and a friend of mine suggested I sleep with a friend just to get it over with so I can enjoy sex more). And then after that text he just stopped talking to me for a whole weekend.

I texted him again today just being casual and he was all sweet and funny again. I don't get it. I practically offer myself up on a plate for him and he goes silent? So what is going on? Does he like me? Does he not?

Sorry for the length.. I can't tell if he's just pissing around as a joke and cause he's just a pervy man or he actually see's something there but is too full of pride or something to do anything about it out right.

BTW: We are both in our early twenties. I'm a virgin and he isn't.

Also.. he isn't *ALWAYS* pervy. Just like, 85% of the time.

If any of the content here was inappropriate in any way, I apologize.

 

[jerseygirl]

Hi there, I am no expert on advising or guiding people but I figured maybe I could help.

I think that as far as what he wants from you, it sounds like he wants your attention, but only when it is convenient for him. Why do I say this? Because he was the one who came out of the blue to be randomly flirty with you in the first place, he is the one who is pushing you to send pictures back, and he is the one who didn't talk to you for a whole weekend...most likely because he was busy doing something else.

I think what you like is his attention and flirtatious nature...which is absolutely fine. But do you really like him as a person? Or maybe you just like the thought of hooking up with him because he is such a casual person? Are you really okay with losing your v-card just to "get it over with?" I think there are a lot of answers you have to answer for yourself before thinking about if this guy really, genuinely likes you...or just your lady parts. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with just physical attraction, just be sure it is what you want because you don't want to get hurt, especially because losing your virginity can be a big deal for some girls.

Hope I helped a little bit...best of luck with your situation!

 

[Avarice]

You're right, I have a lot of stuff to ask myself and figure out before I can even think about making such a huge decision regarding this. It seems to be that he has this really big pride issue and wouldn't make a proper serious move on a girl unless he was 100% sure he would be accepted, though, which makes me wonder if I should make it more obvious that I like him or not. But then like you say, do I even really like him or do I just think I do because of the attention he's giving me? Confusing. v_v''

Thanks for your advice though, it helped a lot. I know for now at least I need to take a step back and figure out what I even want from this, before trying to figure out what he wants from it.

 

[Terry]

Maybe its because I'm of a different generation, but if someone sent me a pic of their "bits" it would be the last time they'd ever speak to me :dry:
There seems such a lack of repect in the act.
It also sounds like he wants someone casual, on the net, that he can get his rocks off with, so to speak, and no commitment involved.
Seems there is a lot of this going on, glad I'm not a part of it.

Virginity is not a spot you just pop.
So please dont just sleep with some random man to get it over with :ohmy:

And as to this guy, I'd drop him.
If you want to be respected in the world, you must respect yourself and not allow other people to dictate what is right for you, or make you do things that dont sit right.
You used the word "pervy" and thats exactly what I thought, the guy is a bloody PERV!
Look for something more than being someone's dirty magazine.

 

[lightbeam]

I would have to agree with Terry. The guy clearly has issues. Especially if he is sending you perverted pictures of his junk.

 

[Avarice]

I was disgusted by it too at the beginning. I found it pretty darn gross and all, but I just got used to it over time.

I don't want to grow into my thirties without having experienced *that* though. The older you get the more uncommon it is, and it'll make it harder to find a partner I think, since you need to be so sure that you can trust them, etc., before you do anything too intimate because of the whole virgin thing. Whereas without being a virgin it's less of a big deal and can be enjoyed more as and when you want to.

 

[flyingdutchmen]

a cop spreading images of his scrotum roflmao what a morron
sorry had to be said

you are aware that this is not how serious relationships are formed are you ? (not that i believe thats what he is looking for anyway)

 

[Acy]

Avarice, I would avoid this guy like the plague. I agree with the others who have said don't find a guy to "just do it and get it over with." There is lots to be said for having sex with a partner you truly love, and not just anyone for the sake of doing it. When the right person comes along, you won't have the same uncertainty about how you feel - it will feel right. Judging from your view that this guy is "pervy," I don't think you really want to be with this one. (If I were in your shoes, I would avoid this guy like the plague.)

 

[Avarice]

Thanks for all the replies guys - it's helped. A person like that can't offer me the future I want in the long-run so it's pointless even dwelling on it. He's obviously not after anything serious and isn't too fussy about who he has these kinda of conversations with, so I just need to move on and find someone more suitable for me. >.<

 

[poisonedresistance]

In my experience, guys want what they cant have, if you make it too available then they loose interest. Its the challenge.
Maybe he uses the fun sex banter with you because its easier for him to break down his own boundaries - perhaps thats how he talks to everyone.
You are worth much more than that.
It isnt a race to loose your virginity,, its more about taking you time and it feeling right, with someone who CARES about you.
You dont want a rushed first time thats all about them,,, it wouldnt be fair on you.
Being in a loving caring relationship where there is no pressure from either side would be so much more beneficial.

Im sorry but I dont want to see you posting down the line how rubbish sex was and how used and dirty you feel later down the line.

Sex is a lovely thing but making love is so much better. Believe me there is a HUGE difference
:IrishDoll: take care of you