I've "journaled" for years - I say "journal" as technically it's not, its just a private blog that I use as if it's a journal/diary and when I was younger I used a written diary to rant and write about how I feel. But I was thinking, when I'm feeling down I can write paragraphs and paragraphs about all these bad feelings and thoughts but they just stay there forever. I feel better eventually but that bad memory of feeling crap stays in that place, it's a permanent record. I don't look back very often, but when I do, say wanting to finding happier memories I'd written about, I end up finding the bad ones in there too that I'd forgotten about and I realize it can make me feel kinda bitter or angry or sad all over again even though I moved on from those things months or years ago. I find it therapeutic to write how I feel and it's good having a record in terms of reflecting- I can look back and see how much progress I've made or realize where I made mistakes or where I need to improve my reactions to things and ways of thinking- but at the same time it's kinda counter-productive cause it's almost like it encourages grudges and stuff cause it reminds me of things that I would have otherwise forgotten about. Maybe I should delete all my journal entries that are unhappy once I feel better about things to help me move on properly, rather than potentially making me sad or pissed off all over again in the future if I come across it.
What's the right balance I wonder? It's good for personal growth in terms of expressing things, rationalizing your thoughts, and then reflecting later and being able to see your errors or how much progress you've made, but also it's kinda unhelpful to have a log of times you've felt bad about stuff cause it makes you focus on the negatives or get re-angry / re-sad etc all over again if you happen to look back on it at any point
I say this cause I was reading back my entries from this year, and whilst some are useful cause it helps me see how stupid my reactions have been in the past and how I can improve, other ones make me feel worse cause I'm like "oh....... I forgot that shitty thing happened ages ago...... that was horrible...... ouch" and like I get re-hurt all over again (not to the same extent as the past when it was actually happening, but like to a small extent which is bad enough, ya know?)
I'm interested what other people think the right balance is with it?
What's the right balance I wonder? It's good for personal growth in terms of expressing things, rationalizing your thoughts, and then reflecting later and being able to see your errors or how much progress you've made, but also it's kinda unhelpful to have a log of times you've felt bad about stuff cause it makes you focus on the negatives or get re-angry / re-sad etc all over again if you happen to look back on it at any point
I say this cause I was reading back my entries from this year, and whilst some are useful cause it helps me see how stupid my reactions have been in the past and how I can improve, other ones make me feel worse cause I'm like "oh....... I forgot that shitty thing happened ages ago...... that was horrible...... ouch" and like I get re-hurt all over again (not to the same extent as the past when it was actually happening, but like to a small extent which is bad enough, ya know?)
I'm interested what other people think the right balance is with it?