Does life still go on?

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by emily88, Jul 1, 2009.

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  1. emily88

    emily88 Member

    On June 9th, my boyfriend told me he didn't know if he wanted to be with me anymore. This guy is the love of my life and the only person I want, the thought of losing him was just too much for me to handle. Although I had thought about it, I never in a million years thought I could do what I did. I took a months worth of Ativan and the next thing I know, I'm in the emergency room drinking charcoal. Apparently, while I was in this altered state, after I had taken the pills (I don't remember the event at all) I called my therapist who in turn sent the ambulance and police. I spent a few days in the psych ward--an experience that I will never encounter again, I know for sure.

    Now, he didn't know if we were going to be together or not but my overdosing just confirmed that he couldn't be with me and, he broke up with me. I've been through heartbreak before, just not to this extent. I thought I had a future with him--we talked about it, we loved each other....and he just let me go like I never meant anything to him?

    I'm the child of a alcoholic and a non-existent father/absent step-father. I raised myself and my sisters and, took care of my mother when she was too inebriated to take care of herself. I moved out when I was 18 and although it was a blessing to be out of that home, a new, severe, dark form of depression and loneliness took me over.

    The loneliness is the worst part--I have friends, but being with someone and being cared about, loved and treated with affection is something I've craved my whole life. Now, I don't have anyone and I'm empty and feel as though my future is shattered like a broken mirror. I've been through hell and back and have always bounced back one way or another but I feel like these feelings are just consuming me and there's no light at the end of the tunnel.
    Does life get better?
  2. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Dealing with a break-up can be quite difficult, but it's not something you can't overcome. It just takes time. Time that you can use to work on getting yourself well. Keep at the therapy.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You sound like such a caring compassionate person Emily It will take time but you will get over this guy and meet someone who is worthy of your love. I know abandonment sucks I was abandoned by my father mother and so many others and i did heal over time. You will meet new people although i know this does not help the pain your in now. Just remember there will be other opportunities for you because you are so compassionate and caring person
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