Does not having facebook/twitter/linkedin make you a loser?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by OutCaste, May 7, 2011.

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  1. OutCaste

    OutCaste Well-Known Member

    I've been feeling miserable lately because of this issue.

    All of my coworkers are on these social networks and I'm not.

    They make fun of me infront of me and behind my back.

    There is this one lady who makes fun of me the most and she is a fucking stalker. She stalks the other coworkers in the company and sees what they are doing. She even goes to the extent of researching families of coworkers. She spends 7 out of 8 hours everyday on facebook, twitter and other sites. The moment she hears a name, she google searches it to find dirt on that person. Her behaviour has become more and more hostile towards me, shes ganging up on me with other coworkers.

    Recently my coworkers were making fun of another coworker as she had pictures of her boyfriend (whos 17yrs younger).I've reasons to not join social networks as I've a past and going on these networks would exacerbate the drama. Im sure I wont be able to get friends, because I've always been a loner. I don't connect with my age group, I only connect with old folks.

    But this really making me feel like shit. Its got to the point where I almost want to leave my job, but getting a new job is impossible in this economy. And even many employers judge you based on whether you are on a social network or not.

    I just feel like its a dead end for me. Im feeling like Osama bin Laden who had no where to run because of his actions.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 7, 2011
  2. Monoka

    Monoka Well-Known Member

    you sound just like my brother to the point where i was checking your last posts to check i hadn't bumped into him. hes paranoid about his ex-wife finding him so dosn't do any social networking.
    not being on these sites is no reason for them to be against you. is there no one you can speak to? if a coworker is persistently trying to turn others against you it is bullying :(
    as for it being a dead end all things end some way or another- is there anything you can do to actively prevent what is happening?
    answering you question- no it does gives you a life.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Your not missing anything by not being on facebook..I was on there and had a suppose to be friend.. She was copying everything I said,,Another person told me what she was doing because she used what she said to her to harm her..Your better off not being on there..
  4. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    sometimes these networking sites cause more trouble than anything else !
  5. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    i know lots of peeps who are not on these sites...i just dont get all the fuss..and as regards your co worker, if she is spending so much time on there and researching other peeps, she is the one with the problem. dont worry about it...imo they are just ego sites...lets see how many friends i can acquire...they are NOT friends just other peeps trying to boost their friends number. if i want to contact peeps i email, why would i want the world and his wife to know what i am doing but then maybe i am just a misery ;) you are perfectly normal
  6. kiasuten

    kiasuten Member

    I don't think having a Facebook/Twitter/Whatever makes you a loser. If anything, it puts you above all the social drama that a lot of us (myself included) get caught up in on these sites.

    I only have a Facebook because my family (who I live far from) give me crap for not writing letters or sending cards, so this way it's a lot simpler for them to contact me.

    My first year in college, I was called a "communist" (jokingly) for not having a Facebook. I didn't get one until a year or so later, and during that time I was constantly taunted about being in the stone age... it bothered me a lot.

    Because of the drama that occurs (and because my low self-esteem often leads me to become jealous of others on FB), I have deleted my account multiple times. But with my family and classmates, I get a lot of crap for it.

    You shouldn't be made fun of for not having one. People are stupid for even making a big deal about it.
  7. Riley

    Riley Member

    all i get out of facebook is farmville spam mail
  8. Illusion

    Illusion Well-Known Member

    No that doesn't make you a loser. That one lady you was talking about is a total loser though. Most social networking sites are trouble anyways. I only have a Facebook cause it helps me keep up with family. I'm a loner as well so I don't really find any use for it most times. Don't get so upset over the whole thing. Besides.. Most social networking sites are just fads waiting to become unpopular again anyways. Back then I got a bit trash talk for not having a Myspace, well who uses it now? Nobody hardly. Facebook, Twitter, etc will be the same way someday so no use trying to get into any of that if you don't wanna. Do what you wanna do. Screw what others say about it.
  9. OutCaste

    OutCaste Well-Known Member

    The woman I'm talking about is very toxic.

    She bitches about the job 24/7 (literally) and then cries, she cries more than anyone I've seen.

    This one time I made the mistake of giving her my shoulder to cry on and I told her things about my situation that I shouldn't have told.

    I've also observed on several occasions that she tells different versions of the same story to different people, she is two faced even with people she calls her "friends". I hate this kind of shit because it creates mistrust and insecurity between the coworkers.

    Just listening to her rant everyday has made me even more and more paranoid and loose interest in the job.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 7, 2011
  10. OutCaste

    OutCaste Well-Known Member

    I can actually continue working without bothering with facebook/twitter shit but its hard to maintain your calm when someone is constantly playing mind games, making fun of you and saying negativ
    e things.

    Right now its just hard for to go to work in the morning.
  11. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    I've never been on Facebook - and the people on it who have dozens or hundreds of 'friends' are deluding themselves.

    If you have a handful of friends you are blessed.

    Even one, you are lucky.

    Years ago you socialised and worked and made friends that way - this was more real as speaking with people, spending time in their company, you'd tend to move towards those who you got on with the best.

    I've never been on Facebook - but worked in that industry and and have helped set up forums and coded this and that. This was before Facebook ever existed.

    I knew early on that social networking would be full of dangers unless it was strictly moderated.

    After a spate of suicides on Facebook inspired by bullying sh**heads, who would NEVER do it to your face - I now think that getting to know people is best done face to face. I grew up this way and all my friends I either grew up with, or met through the years and spent time with getting to know. Part of the fun is not knowing when you will bump into friends. Also, with woman, I like the past to stay the past. I mean, what was not meant to be was not meant - but with Facebook how many stalkers have found the ideal way to stalk old flames?

    Of course, there are some forums well moderated. If this forum was not moderated, people would join to encourage suicide. Sick as it sounds that is the way a minority actually works online. Too many cowards look upon social networking as a way of bullying others or making their own sad lives seem better by having 100 friends.

    Don't let your co workers get you down. Maybe look for another job as they seem like idiots to me. If I was working there and anyone tried to bully me then I'd just wind them up - tell them people on Facebook are kidding themselves they have all these friends. Ask them if all these friends would visit them in hospital for example.

    How many of these Facebook friends would lend them £50? Would any?

    Just laugh at them - and do your work.

    Sounds like they all need firing as anyone using Facebook in work is generally using work time to fritter their own lives away. I would not pay for people to use Facebook and not expect to get paid for using it.

    I'd actually plant some programme on her PC to grab her password for Facebook.

    If people want to play dirty - and bully others, I'm your man.

    I love peace, I truly do, but bullies are not defeated with peace, its more like pieces and a few might need their vision of the world 'altered'. I hate fighting but would fight anyone prepared to bully others. This is what wins us freedom when good men and women stand up to the bullies.

    Good luck my man - and don't let this office ogre get you down - she really needs help and I'm guessing that her own life is pretty empty when all she has is Facebook.

    Kind of makes me pity her.

    Of course, her being a women means no fighting! Woman know this and wind us up all the more - but you will wind her up if you smile at her.

    Maybe she fancies you also.

    So, er, yes, maybe start looking for that new job.

    Sometimes, you will find women like this - be careful, she sounds a nasty piece of work.
  12. SuperMoon

    SuperMoon Active Member

    I totally agree with everyone's reply.

    There are some good points like being able to stay in touch with extended family.
    I also know people who use these sites to promote their business, products, and service. So, in that case, I totally understand the point.

    I just recently joined Twitter again to follow comedians and other people who tweet inspirational messages. This has really helped me reduce invading thoughts of suicide and keep my depression at bay. (I'm not currently in cognitive therapy and can only do so much positive self-talk myself.)

    I would only suggest to at least keep up with "what's out there" and the technology because some companies do want their employees to be able to easily navigate these sites for business purposes.

    There's also a lot of discussion, like what's been mentioned, a/b the negative impacts of these sites such as bullying, maladaptive narcissism, and the unhealthy use of these sites to seek approval and seek attention (instead of doing the internal work).

    So, go easy on yourself. You're definitely not a loser and hope you feel better. Your co-worker(s) sound like they're the ones lacking what's important, imo. :wink:
  13. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Being on facebook isn't bad but it could be better off at times if you aren't on there.I have to say I've found it quite a problem at times people you thought you knew unfriending you but I can understand why also.I wouldn't bother or try not to what these shallow people are saying about you not being on there.Think for yourself if you don't want to join the site I wouldn't don't be pressured.
  14. OutCaste

    OutCaste Well-Known Member

    ok, but what about a network like linkedin ? almost every one i know has one but im really scared to get one because i dont want to reveal where i work etc to certain people.

    sadly, im seeing many jobs that require you to have social networking skills. also there was one job posting where you were required to have atleast 50 friends on twitter and 50 on facebook. things are getting worse for people who want online anonymity or even want to seperate family life, friends and coworkers or past, present and future.
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