• Apologies for the issue with a bizarre redirect on the site earlier today. There was a large server update and an error in an IP address had the traffic routing wrongly. No hacking or anything nefarious and nothing to worry about. Sorry for any stress/anxiety caused. Very best wishes - SF Admin

Does staying away from social media improve your self-steem?

LukaRedgrave

On Satur(n)days we used to sleep
#1
I have a love-hate relationship with social media, mostly FB and its unfair politics and methods, and i've considered many times the idea of quitting. The "problem" is that by doing so, i might lost contact with the few people i often talk to. I also run a couple of FB pages and i get to interact with a few people who like my content, so that kind of makes me feel "useful" or "good", idk...
Looking for opinions i found some videos and articles about how social media can be a factor to depression, anxiety and overall low self-steem, cause usually we're looking for "acceptance", likes, and also we see other people posting about their "succesful" lives, goals and relationships (wheter that's true or not) and unconsciouslly we compare our own situation with theirs, and we feel like we're failing, empty, not good enough or simply falling behind compared to the people we follow.
Not sure as to what extent this applies to myself, i rarely see my friends posting their achievements or personal life, but i have no doubt a lot of people actually go throught stress and frustation by seeing others posting whatever they bought or where they traveled to... do you guys think social media has become counterproductive for our lives and mental health?
 

johnDoen

Outsider in the Realm of Lost and Found
#2
Social media, in my cat opinion, is not something completely counterproductive, nor completely productive in the same manner. It is a tool that should be optimized for your best experience. Keep looking up for contents that makes you genuinely feel joyful and comfortable, or something supportive such as a picture with a large, bold text, saying "You are enough".

Then, there is a journey to find peace in yourself and to learn to accept who you are. It is something that must be done to battle all the unconscious comparisons in our head. I am doing one myself, by being a cat in this forum.
 

MisterBGone

SF Supporter
#3
Hey there! :)
A little while ago - I can't exactly remember how long (maybe 3, 4, 5 months?) there was a similar thread focused on the exact same, or very similar topic. Because I am such an infantile, or neophyte when it comes to the use of this site. . . . I can never figure out quite how to use the "search," function properly up at the top right of your screen there! ;) but if you can find it, there's a good cross-section of responses & analyses; if I'm recalling correctly - & I even at one time, knew of a couple of researchers who'd studied this in depth, or somewhat great detail... But anyway, suffice it to say--whatever I could possibly come up with here & now, would likely pale in comparison to what was said back then!! :)
Hope that helps..;)
 
Last edited:

Angie

Fiber Artist
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#5
I have found FB to be hurtful and helpful at the same time.

Hurtful most recently for Thanksgiving, my friends were all posting their Thanksgiving dinners and how they were celebrating (many just had their immediate household due to the damn virus). This hurt cuz I had dinner in a styrofoam box (I've moaned about this already). I just don't have family anymore and the holidays drive that point home in my heart.

Helpful in that I enjoy the pages I subscribe to about crochet, knitting, the Queen (don't judge me lol), Texas (love my home state!), and a few other interests.

So I took off a FB few days after Thanksgiving and will probably take off right before during and after Christmas.

No one there will miss me.
 

johnDoen

Outsider in the Realm of Lost and Found
#6
I have found FB to be hurtful and helpful at the same time.

Hurtful most recently for Thanksgiving, my friends were all posting their Thanksgiving dinners and how they were celebrating (many just had their immediate household due to the damn virus). This hurt cuz I had dinner in a styrofoam box (I've moaned about this already). I just don't have family anymore and the holidays drive that point home in my heart.

Helpful in that I enjoy the pages I subscribe to about crochet, knitting, the Queen (don't judge me lol), Texas (love my home state!), and a few other interests.

So I took off a FB few days after Thanksgiving and will probably take off right before during and after Christmas.

No one there will miss me.
There will be a day when someone makes a Facebook page dedicated to the Knitting and Crocheting Queen of Texas. Maybe I should be one. But then, how do you knit with paws and move to Texas?
 

MosesY

Recovering Alcoholic
SF Supporter
#8
Social media can be a downer if you let it. I have gone through a lot of therapy and I know I am an amazing person. I am a bald fat 53 year old man but I can hand cut dovetail joints in wood like you wouldn't believe. I have uploaded some videos to YouTube on my lantern and woodworking stuff and gotten good responses. Some of the videos have been viewed 1000 times. I don't measure myself by other people; I measure myself by who I am and always trying to improve myself. I think it is very important to find something you like in life and focus on that; it is the only way to be happy.
 

Velveteen Bunny

Well-Known Member
#9
I also have a love/hate relationship with FB. I've tried going to other ones, mostly MeWe, but it doesn't seem as user friendly. I do hate the new FB format... so ugly.

I don't really have a problem where I compare my life with other people; it's like comparing apples and oranges. In fact, when I see someone with a somewhat normal, happy life, I'm genuinely happy for them and take it as an inspiration. I don't feel jealous, more like sadly wistful, like a stray dog or cat looking onto a warm, family scene through a window while shivering out in the cold.

I also have a few pages that I run and get the same satisfaction in that they bring usefulness to others. I don't have much time to go on FB anymore as I'm a slave to my elderly mother, but people still like all my old posts on the pages as I haven't posted anything new in ages.
 

Angie

Fiber Artist
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#10
Just as a follow up on this.

I stopped using FB right at the end of November. Its Feb 23 now and I have to say I feel better overall than I have in a long time.

Only one person has missed me, and she messaged me so its all good.
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
Forum Pro
#11
I too have a love/hate relationship with FB... I find myself just scrolling during lunch hours and seems such a pointless waste of time but at same time still seem to feel the need to do it...know would be better if just read during lunch...but can't seem to motivate myself to do that ....sigh...
 
#12
I have little to say that anybody on here wishes to hear, but on this I would venture to say that steering clear of social media would do wonders for one's self esteem.

I won't go into a lengthy dissertation on what a pestilent blight Facebook and Twitter are upon this world, suffice it to say both have brought a grade school mentality to peoples' lives and engendered in people a bottomless, insatiable need for validation from total strangers.
 

Dante

Took 5 years to learn how to make a custom title.
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#13
I don't think avoiding social media would do anything for your self-esteem, it is the act of participating in it at all that shreds any sane person's self esteem, and here is why:

We all like to be thought well of, so social media is less about "here is my life, my mind and my opinions" and more "here is the best version of myself", so we all come off a little better than we are, but then everyone is doing it and it becomes a competition with each person trying not to feel outshined by everyone else, so social media then becomes "here is the best version of myself I can create with exaggeration, selective storytelling, liberal use of artistic licence and occasional bald-face lying". It is as much creative storytelling as actual chronicling, jokes are stolen from other people, opinions are copy pasted from the internet, profile pictures are photoshopped, our greatest successes are blasted out constantly whilst any failures are covered up, the result is a web of lies full of apparent super humans, but its close enough to reality that we half believe everyone's lies, except for our own of course.

In the end social media surrounds us with images of wealthy, successful, talented, beautiful people living lives our of fairy-tales that no real person could ever measure up to but that we constantly end up comparing ourselves to, and sure we lie that we are that inhumanly awesome as well, but we just end up feeling unsuccessful, unattractive, unloved, and untruthful in ourselves.

I stopped bothering with social media a decade ago and I will admit it narrowed my social circle a tiny bit, but it also was the absolute right choice. I got an Oculus Quest 2 recently (A Virtual Reality headset) which REQUIRES a Facebook account, so I dug out my old account and fiddled the settings for greater privacy so I wouldnt be broadcasting my gaming habits, but couldn't help taking a quick peak at how my old friends were doing and within MINUTES I was feeling shit about myself, unloved, outshined and forgotten. Its just not worth it.
 
#14
I don't think avoiding social media would do anything for your self-esteem, it is the act of participating in it at all that shreds any sane person's self esteem, and here is why:

We all like to be thought well of, so social media is less about "here is my life, my mind and my opinions" and more "here is the best version of myself", so we all come off a little better than we are, but then everyone is doing it and it becomes a competition with each person trying not to feel outshined by everyone else, so social media then becomes "here is the best version of myself I can create with exaggeration, selective storytelling, liberal use of artistic licence and occasional bald-face lying". It is as much creative storytelling as actual chronicling, jokes are stolen from other people, opinions are copy pasted from the internet, profile pictures are photoshopped, our greatest successes are blasted out constantly whilst any failures are covered up, the result is a web of lies full of apparent super humans, but its close enough to reality that we half believe everyone's lies, except for our own of course.

In the end social media surrounds us with images of wealthy, successful, talented, beautiful people living lives our of fairy-tales that no real person could ever measure up to but that we constantly end up comparing ourselves to, and sure we lie that we are that inhumanly awesome as well, but we just end up feeling unsuccessful, unattractive, unloved, and untruthful in ourselves.

I stopped bothering with social media a decade ago and I will admit it narrowed my social circle a tiny bit, but it also was the absolute right choice. I got an Oculus Quest 2 recently (A Virtual Reality headset) which REQUIRES a Facebook account, so I dug out my old account and fiddled the settings for greater privacy so I wouldnt be broadcasting my gaming habits, but couldn't help taking a quick peak at how my old friends were doing and within MINUTES I was feeling shit about myself, unloved, outshined and forgotten. Its just not worth it.
Fair enough, and well said.

There's also the fact that social media reduces all discourse to memes and emojis, and because of this, real expression is lost. Everything is stripped down to copy and paste pictograms and simple platitudes.

Your point about a falsified version of people being presented is also true; echoing the shallow celebrity culture that also plagues society. A celebrity culture which creates unattainable ideals that people cannot hope to achieve, and erodes their self esteem.
 
Last edited:
#15
i dont know, sometimes i like to turn off all my social media when im in a really bad place mentally. it does help, but i still need distraction, so what im going to say now might sound idiot, but i like to Watch tiktoks to distract myself. it actually helped me sometimes.
 

Dante

Took 5 years to learn how to make a custom title.
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#16
i dont know, sometimes i like to turn off all my social media when im in a really bad place mentally. it does help, but i still need distraction, so what im going to say now might sound idiot, but i like to Watch tiktoks to distract myself. it actually helped me sometimes.
If you have identified something that genuinely helps (without hurting others), even if it is as dumb as standing on your head and singing Gangnam Style, it isn't stupid.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$255.00
Goal
$255.00
Top