Does suicide scare you or is it something you want to do but deny yourself

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by wastedmylife, Oct 14, 2008.

  1. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    Suicide scares me, I think I still have some life in me or had life in me, but now I feel dead, I have to many problems and dont think I can face, I am not sure if I will ever feel a comfort in killing myself, I still dont know how someone can get to the point where they want to die but I dont know(unless they are in intense physical pain and suicide is the only relief), I bet most people once they reach that point of no return probably have some regrets, like that guy who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and realized he wanted to live, I bet most people while in the air have that realization of "what the fuck did I do"

    I also get to the point where I want to suicide and think about all the people who harmed me and led me to the shape I am in, how do I let them live, why should I let them live and me die?

    I cant go on in the shape I am in, that is one thing I know, I dont see how it is possible
  2. Hey, I am not scared of suicide what so ever, the thing that scares me is if I attempt and I fail, and then people know how desparate I am.
    Even though all I want from life is for people to know how desparate I am, I am scared of people knowing because I have made myself believe that they never will.. and I am scared at what it will be like.
    What are you scared of? The pain?

    Take care.
    Keep smiling.
  3. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I dont know the pain, perhaps living a life and never feeling any pleasure

    I had alot of potential and I think I wasted it and alot of people helped contribute me to the shape I am in

    When I was younger I was so scared of death, I use to be so happy to be alive and grateful I probably wouldnt die for another 70 years, maybe that is part of my problem, I use to think they would have a cure for death by the time I was older, the whole uncertainty around it about how it is black and forever and what happens if you are really alive and you just cant move your body or show and reflexes, what happens if you are still alive in your mind and they bury you or pronounce you dead and stick you in a freezer in a morgue

    I wonder if alot of my problem is my fear of death and something I was never able to accept, what a fucking life I wasted
  4. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    I think you pointed out a good point, "how could we allow those who shaped us to live and us die?" If we allow this then we are letting them win? I don't know if that makes sense.

    "I wonder if alot of my problem is my fear of death"
    There is a book i have meaning to read but haven't read as yet, its about our fear of death. So you may have got somthing there perhaps..

    I have thought if suicide was a way to escape the uncertainty of life and how and when we die is out of our control.
  5. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    It seems thrilling. It would be the ardrenaline rush of a lifetime. A near-death experience for a split second [followed by death, of course.] Falling, anyhow, which is my current fantasy.

    I don't fear it, but, and I differ from most people here on this point, I have a lot to look forward to. I'm terrified of the rest of my life, and certainly the present, but there's so much I want to do, professionally... Could I just die every night? Take a heavy sedative when I get home from work that knocks me out until it's time to go to work? I don't know.
  6. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    Suicide doesn't scare me. It not working is the only reason I haven't tried more. I'm unique among the people I interact with in life, in that I have no emotion when it comes to death. It's very straightforward to me. Everyone dies.
  7. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    perhaps, but what happens if they decisions they did or the things they did to you led to physical problems that changed your life and it makes you want to die
  8. candiz

    candiz Active Member

    If I didnt have my family then no it wouldnt scare me. My family is all that I have right now. It would break my dad's heart, but then on the otherside I still somehow think he'd be better off without me
  9. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i CAN'T kill myself and that's what's so awful forced to keep breathing for nothing. wish i could blow my fucking brains out but can't abandon my dogs. my kids hate me but not as much as i hate myself life stinks and it lasts way too long
  10. ansdr

    ansdr Well-Known Member

    Hey i wish i could kill myself, but i really don't have anything to do it with. Plus im a bit scared of dying, but if i had the materials i probably would give it a try. Life is fine but it seems to be a cycle that just repeats. You go to school, college, get married or what not have kids, grow old, become weak and die. Seems like a whole lot of nothing to me.
  11. Victori@

    Victori@ Well-Known Member

    Scares the shit out of me! :sad:
  12. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    I really don't want to die. I'd much prefer to find a better way but there are times when the pain just becomes too much and suicide seems the only option. It scares the shit out of me too because I think about it a lot and know that I can be a bit impulsive at times. If it didn't scare me I wouldn't be here now. S.
  13. Vampyrica

    Vampyrica Member

    It scares me to be honest. I think its the pain element. And when your in that moment you do kinda think "should i really be doing this". I think it takes a lot of guts to kill yourself, unlike some people say "its the cowards way out" blah blah blah.

    It takes a lot of bravery to kill yourself I think, I have always been too much of a wimp. There have been times I wanted to just shoot myself in the head there and then and get it over with (I have no gun though haha!) but i know if i had that gun there I would be scared. I think its also the worry of if you fail and survive.