Finally after so many years, I've taken the initiative to see a professional. The school's psychiatrist prescribed me Celexa. I agreed to give it a try though I'm not at all familiar with antidepressants. Honestly, I feel like such a weakling, so shameful though I can't quite put my finger on why. I would've never seen myself being reduced to this. No one I know would've seen this coming either. I'm taking drugs for gods sake. I was the happiest kid several years ago. I apologize to anyone who's on antidepressants right now. I really don't mean this as an insult to you. For some reason, this is just how I feel right now and I can't justify it. I feel as if this will stop me from trying it. Furthermore, there's still this side of me who doesn't seem to want any help. He wants to remain like this and get used to feeling like this forever, or die trying. He doesn't see any meaning in trying these drugs out, and frankly, I can't find a way to argue even if I wanted to. Look at me. Talking about myself in third person. I really must be going crazy.