Does talking really make things better ?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by assek, Oct 31, 2010.

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  1. assek

    assek Well-Known Member

    i am so confused. of all the therapists i have seen, we have never really got anywhere and it was my fault. the thing is i CANT talk... not about me , not about my problems..

    i just find it so difficult opening up. my head knows what i want to say and i can write it down, but if i actually want to speak, i get this horrible feeling in my chest and my throat, and i just cannot open up.

    sometimes, even though its very rare, when i open up a little bit to someone, i feel so crappy afterwards. it makes me even more depressed and angry with myself.

    so, when people say ' talk about it, it will make you feel better ' is that really the case ? because for me, it makes me feel so much worse.

    does anyone else ever feel like that ?
  2. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    I remember my first few sessions were incredibly painful, but trust me it's better in the long term. You need to get things out there so that the therapist/counsellor can work with the full facts of what's making you unhappy.

    Talking does make things better, although it doesn't feel like it initially.
  3. thaliapage

    thaliapage Member

    I understand it being difficult to talk. I can't either, but some of my counselors allowed me to email or write down things. so maybe you could try that?
  4. dartofabaris

    dartofabaris Well-Known Member

    Before you open up to anyone, you need to first realise why: its to get you to feel better about you, so that you sally forth the way you are or to find a better life, whatever makes you happier. Believing in someone who can help you is the first step, that muddled hollow yet distasteful feeling which seems to engulf you, after opening up, as said above, is temporary..dont suppress, surpass.
    Pm if you ever need to chat. :hug:
  5. bhawk

    bhawk Well-Known Member

    personally talking doesnt help me, although it might be due to the conditioning from my past. ive told my shrink ill never talk about certain things and i wont till the day i die. i think talking therapy is purely down to the individual.
    for some it helps for others it doesnt.
  6. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    It depends if you're ready to talk about things you feel you "should" talk about. You can talk about something less frightening in your therapy sessions if that is easier. If there's a good relationship I go into a session and talk about anything because "anything" is important.
  7. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    I think talking helps a lot with feelings of shame. Whenever we feel shame about something, whether it's justified or not, our urge is to hide it away. Exposing it and telling someone (someone safe, like a therapist) really helps - at least from my experience.

    But anxiety/depression issues.. not so much for me. Talking about depressing things just makes me feel more sad, and talking about things that make me anxious just triggers my anxiety worse. But even though I don't *feel* better immediately, especially with anxiety, I'ev found talkign about it and planning more effective ways to cope (ie - don't throw up or take drugs) helps me feel better ish on a more long term scale.

    I've had trouble saying things to therapists in the past too - but the fact that you can write things down is really great. I've made lists before therapy of things I wanted to tell her, and just handed it to her or read down the list. Also, we communicate by email in addition to therapy, which helps me!
  8. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    i cant seem to even get to the point that you are at. it is supposed to help, but it just seems impossible to talk about the things hidden for so long... yet i would feel great to get them out...
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