Does this make me a slut?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by borderline., Oct 8, 2013.

  1. borderline.

    borderline. Member

    First of all, I want to give my age so I don't sound like a whiney preteen. I'm 18.

    Anyway, a week ago I met this guy online who had just moved to my town from a few towns away. Normally I'm extremely anxious about hanging out with new people, but we met at a park the next day. [Some background info on him: he's 19, has a 3-week old kid and isn't with her mom. He's an alcoholic and "recovering" drug addict from pretty much everything you can think of; heroin, crack, acid, molly, etc. He was a sex addict, might still be. He fights everyone and parties, and he's cheated on everyone he has dated.] He said I'm the first smart girl he's ever met, blah blah blah.

    So yesterday he came to my house for the first time because the day before I mentioned how I wanted to watch my favorite movie and he said he should come over so we could watch it together. I don't really like people coming over, I get nervous, but I felt like I couldn't get out of it. Then he started mentioning having sex, which he's talked about before but never gave a specific time. I didn't know if I wanted to sleep with him, so I texted my best friend Kyle for advice. He gave me a bunch of excuses to give him, ranging from telling him it was too early, to lying and saying I still had my period.

    Needless to say, I didn't follow any of Kyle's advice. We had sex 3 times, and did other stuff, while my mom and brother were home. I didn't feel pressured like I thought I would, so I didn't do it just because he wanted to. I've only slept with 2 other people, so it's not like I go around sleeping with everyone I meet. My friends who I've told about him said once he "gets in my pants", he's going to want nothing to do with me after that. We texted after he left last night and he hasn't said anything about not continuing to hang out; he even said he wants me to meet his friends.

    But going back to my original question, does this make me a skank? Because I kind of feel like one and I don't know if I should or not.
     
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    Sex is not a 'bad thing' - choosing to be physically intimate with someone doesn't make anyone a skank or a slut. It is a choice. You chose to sleep with this guy; it is good that you did not feel pressured or only do it because he wanted to. You do not have to feel bad for a choice you made that was 100% yours to make and does not negatively affect anyone else. Have as much sex as you like - it is your right :)
     
  3. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    Sounds exciting!
     
  4. bhawk

    bhawk Well-Known Member

    As long as its consensual and safe, what you do behind closed doors is nothing to do with anyone else. It doesnt make you a skank.
    You are not being promiscuous either, so even by cultural standards you are not a "skank"
    He is still interested in you, but with his track record, i would say that not sleeping with him for a good while will see if he can control his libido with you.
    Again though, it is noones business, not even mine, so do as you wish, just be careful
     
  5. greenieguy

    greenieguy Banned Member

    You dont think that endangering her mother and brother by having a strange guy from jail in their house is her choice to make tell me that when the whole family is killed. I heard on the news about a girl sneaking her boyfriend in her families house and he had found out she was cheating and came to kill everyone. She might not be a skank but what she did wasnt smart
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    No,this does not make you a ...skank,slut,***** whatever. He wants to meet you again and even wants you to meet his friends. Maybe, just maybe that this is a good turning point for both you and him. Without sex there would be no humans here lol. Good luck to both you and him and trust your instincts always.
     
  7. eve1

    eve1 Member

    unless you change your name into something slut, nothing can make you a slut:) lighten up a bit...and the boy that loses interest in you after you had sex, well, that's not the kind of boy you wanna keep around...relax...:whoo:
     
  8. Big M

    Big M Well-Known Member

    No this doesn't make you a skank at all, but this guy sounds like someone to avoid at all costs.