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Does this make me seem cold or uncaring?


Race towards an early grave
SF Supporter
Just in the past year alone, I've really been hurt by people I thought I could trust. It's something that has been going on all of my life. That makes it harder to get to know new people, because if close friends can betray me, there's nothing stopping mere strangers from doing the same. But I worry that I might come across as stuck up or something if I refuse friendship. It is just too hard for me to trust anyone new at this point in time. I want to be open and friendly, but the feelings of hurt are still just too raw. Am I rude for not wanting to open up and let new people in my life?


Personal Assistant to Professor Tiddles - Retired
SF Supporter
Sounds like you are just protecting yourself. I let people in again and again but end up being ghosted or betrayed in some other way, at the moment I'm not socialising in the real world so there is nobody to let in. Someone I trusted ghosted me last year when I admitted how I was feeling, just bye bye, not even going to check you're alive and block you. That was after 3 years of "close" friendship I now realise was just someone using me for their own ends so I'm not that bothered about looking for new friends.

On the other hand, I have another friend I made who should by rights have dumped me by now, but we are still tight. She's an exception to the general rule though.

Sometimes it's worth trying to trust again in case you find some wheat amongst the chaff, but also understandable if you choose to close off and protect yourself. If people think you're rude, let them! What they think about you doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. But maybe closing off will lose the the odd rare diamond.


SF Pro
SF Supporter
Not rude at all. Some people may misunderstand because many dont have the same experience or dont open up in the same way, but its ok. Trust is earned and so is caution. You have earned some caution so its up to them to show that you can trust them, and if that just means waiting and giving you time then so be it.

Its ruder to try to force someone top open up to you than to not open up for others.

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