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Does this make sense?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ~CazzaAngel~, Aug 1, 2008.

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  1. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    The thing is... I'm feeling like I shouldn't feel this way but...

    Some of you know that my father flipped out and kicked me, my brother and mother out when I was 3-4 years old, and he left me behind for a woman he was dating on the side. He kicked us out and more less told me I wasn't really his family anymore, his girlfriend and her daughters were.

    He'd go through periods of saying that was his daughter and he'd always be my father. Then he'd say the opposite. Contradicting and broken promises. I got stuck with my mother and a guy she married who abused and terrorized me.. So, I felt like I didn't have parents, one abandoned me and the other let horrible things happen to me and knowing it.

    Awhile ago my father started calling me a bit (I haven't seen him in about 6-7 years) I had seen him now and again as a kid and I lived with him a year after having to leave because my step father threatened my life... but...

    He is coming to stay a day or 2 with me the 7th and today he just blurts out that he's bringing his "grand daughter", one of his wife's daughter's kids. I don't have any negative feelings to wards the child at all. But at the same time it makes me uncomfortable because his wife and her girls were always horrible to me, and when he first said he'd be here, I was excited but sad, now I feel like I don't matter to him, I'm just a vacation, I'm not a part of his life or family. He told the little girl he was going on vacation and he'd take her, he was visiting someone he'd known since they were born. (I doubt she understood as she's 4 or 5) But, it makes me feel bad and uncomfortable. Is this wrong of me? Am I a bad person for this?

    Please respond, I try to not waste peoples time and vent in my room to vent thread, but could some people respond to this, please? :sad:
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 1, 2008
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    This isn't wrong of you, you can't help how you feel. At least your being honest with yourself. It kinda seems like you just wanted him to come without the little girl.
    Correct me if i'm wrong though.
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Well, they've had him as family all their life, and I thought it'd be nice to see just dad this once, haven't seen him in a long time. He didn't ask or anything, even really warn me and he planned this 3 weeks ago, and just blurted it out today.. Is that wrong of me to have mixed feeling about this? This kinda also feels like he is rubbing salt in the wounds.
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    It's not wrong of you to have mixed feelings at all, it's actually good that you have. I can't really say if he's rubbing salt into the wound but I think if he hasn't seen you in a long time then perhaps it would of been best if he just came around by him self unless he really couldn't do anything about bringing this girl.
    Don't let it bother you now, wait until he actually comes over and see how things go.
  5. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    I don't think you should blame yourself. If obv. he wasn't there for you like he should have been and he shouldn't bring his grand-daughter if he said things like that, it gets me wondering why? Maybe he is trying to bridge the two together? Maybe he's doing it for himself, but either way good luck... and he is still your father so....I hope it works out for you.
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    It isn't wrong of you to feel this way Carolyn. Besidesd that he should have asked permission to bring the little girl with him. I know you have nothing against her, but she is an uninvited guest and he has no right to assume it was acceptable to you. You should have been politely asked and given the chance to okay it. I can understand you wanting to have time with him by yourself. Don't feel bad for the way you feel. :hug:
  7. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I don't know what to think, in the past my father made it a point to tell me how he was disappointed in my existence and how I look, that I am not a real out going socialite, that I had problems and was never popular in anything I did and always compared me to them, say how pretty and smart and popular they were, and I was worthless for not being as good as them. His wife and her daughters went out of their ways to rub it in my face that I was in no way a part of their new family and that I'd always be an outcast, they went out of their ways to be cruel to me. Dad loves the fact his "family" is popular and he loves to talk about so and so is so bright and special and no-ones as good as us. I know what will happen if he brings her, he'll brag the whole time about Christine's daughter is better than everyone else, just like her. It's hurts me. I mean I am alone, I don't really feel like I have family or true friends in person, I have my Gran and she won't be around much longer. I'm sitting here trying not to cry because there is too much I can't deal with now, because I'll have a crisis melt down. :sad:
  8. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Ever thought about cutting your connections off from your father. He seems to cause you more pain then joy. You wouldn't be the first nor the last person to do so.
  9. Xenos

    Xenos Well-Known Member

    ^ I agree with Mystic Eyes.

    You have my hopes that all goes well for you. :) :hug:
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