Thats wonderful for you Rahlahinn and I used to be like that. I walked away from my husband (who was emotionally abusive) and just started over. I got my two sons through high school...probably not the best mother I could be, but I tried. I sometimes worked two jobs. I was pretty tough and independent, but didn't allow anyone back into my life. Until five years later, I let my ex back in briefly. Then when that turned out horribly.....I got hard as a steel. Within four months that year, my best friends husband hung himself, my mom was dying and then died...my ex broke up with me again, I was in a car accident, and my apartment was constantly broken into when I wasn't home. Finally, it was broken into so badly that it was destroyed..the only thing salvagable was my bedroom furniture and a tv.....there was so much destruction...there wasn't a window or light bulb left in the house and the back door was completely caved in. (this happened while I was on vacation trying to forget the previous months), I went through all of that and barely flinched.
Then, a year later, I let myself open up again. I met a man and dated him for two years....he lived in another state. Everything was wonderful, with one glaring exception. He was "friends" with a girl who had mental issues....he was afraid to tell her about me. I waited for two years and finally said enough is enough and left. I swore I'd never open up again.
And then I met Tom. We met on the internet and spend a lot of time chatting. He is wonderful. I will never think otherwise. My son was in Iraq at the time and he did a lot of "hand holding" for me on nights when it got to be too much. He was the only one my son would open up to from Iraq. My son didn't want to share much with me in that regard....I probably would have had NO sleep then!
I let my brother and his son move in. My brother is an emotional abuser (physical once) and I found myself allowing myself to become a victim again. I can't believe I let it happen twice. Tom is the one who convinced me to go to al-anon (my oldest son is an alcoholic) and to make changes to get out of the house. It meant selling my house and using the income to pay off debts so I could afford to live on my own, but I did it. Through all of this, Tom stood by me, helped me and I found myself leaning on him. Probably too much. I let myself open up again, and feel again and fall in love again.
And now this....
I won't be able to get through it if he returns to his wife. And even if I do, I will never be able to feel again and I can't stand the thought of it