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Doesn't make sense, need advice

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Syn, Oct 25, 2015.

  1. Syn

    Syn Well-Known Member

    So, I haven't said this to anyone, ever. Today though it finally hit me as something I need to get out there and get a secondary viewpoint on. I feel SOOOO insanely lonely. I have great friends, and have a better relationship with my family than ever before. It seems my issue is with romantic love.

    I don't like admitting it, because I know love is not something you need in order to survive, and I pride myself on being strong enough to make it through my life on my own. I do this just fine everyday despite what adversity comes my way. Yet there seems to be so much repressed pain from it all that I just fall apart for a moment every time I feel alone.

    It's weird though, because logically I am perfectly content with being single. I like who I am, and enjoy the freedom of being a loner. I am not seeking sex, a relationship, companionship, or validation, yet I feel this need to love and be loved. Why? It's so paradoxical. Is it merely biological?

    So my question is, how do I get rid of this loneliness? It tears me apart with no logical reason. I'm still young and have years to find someone, if I even truly want someone. I want to be completely content if I am never loved and yet not close myself off to the possibility. Basically, I want the pain caused by the loneliness to stop without having to repress it and create adverse effects on my mental state.

    Any ideas, thoughts, or random observations?
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Needing to love and be loved is quite human, I think. For lack of a better word, it's "normal." :)

    Since most people settle down around the same age all over the world, maybe it's something wired into us physically and emotionally, or perhaps it's culturally imposed - "it's time to settle down" - seems to be a common imperative.

    You put it nicely - not closing yourself off to the possibility. You can live without "seeking" love and be open to it. Being active and busy with life and the people you meet could help keep loneliness at bay and you might even meet someone wonderful just by "living" well in the meantime. :)

    For now, if you feel lonely, talk to us here. You sound like a good, smart person. I suspect down the road, someone lucky will meet you! (hug)