..doesnt matter

The barrel never looked so inviting..god im so pathetic..

 

You are not pathetic..just in pain....
Please don't do anything to hurt yourself....
talk to us...

 

I wont make my day, fucking world.

Cant even set my plan into action, might as well just do it, no meaning to anything anymore..just pull it, So easy for me. Survival instincts at zero all I can hope for now is to smile I guess

 

can you talk about why you feel this way?.
we're here to listen...

 

I have felt this way for a long time, merely finally got the tools..Raped, with a curse since birth to a family who shunes me and "friends" with knives for hands in my back

 

do you want to tell us more about your problems?
please don't hurt yourself....
we care..

 

I see endless death! O god so much of it..It is only logical that I be intwines with my brothers who took their own lives, one in my arms, the other on the floor of some crack house a 100 miles away crying as he died, alone. My arm riddled with the scars of my life, cant go to a hospital, Ive been in and out for all my life..I hate them...god I hate them..I cry myself to sleep to merely sleep. The only time my mouth is useful is when I am eating a bullet as the last thing I hope to go through my head is nothing, anything but pain..even the emptyness of hell or eternity of blackness, without light, merely without pain.

 

I can feel how much pain you're in but don't do it....
stay and talk more with us ...

 

How are you doing?....

 

Feel like i may as well go tonight..leaving to get my affairs in order..I dont know..Just want this burning to stop so I can have something, even if that something is merely nothing

 

so glad you're still here.....
we're here for you....

 

ty very much for you replys, I just found out thou someone is here on this forum, that I deeply cant stand. I might leave, to never burden this place and never have to deal with them, merely seeing them brings me memorys about things that hurt.

Alone again is coming here again..I feel so alone, maybe that is why my days hurt and my nights are hell. I just want blackness now, I have my bullet and my drugs, double or nothing in my last words..I might survive one, but I cant survive both, especially after the 20 min marker with the drugs. After that the chance of my either already being dead or bleeding out from the shot are 99.9% and even if the .01 happens, I wont be here, my body will, but my soul will finally be at peace.

 

I wish you wouldn't leave the forum.....but understand if you feel uncomfortable...
I can hear you're in a lot of pain...
you really need to seek help ....please go to the hospital or call someone....
you don't have to go through with this...
please try and stay with us.....

 

its almost time i hope

 

don't do it...it can get better...postpone the date...
please get some help.....
call someone now.....