doesn't really matter

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by tan, Jan 6, 2011.

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  1. tan

    tan Active Member

    Suffered from depression & OCD most of my life. My meds have stopped working. I can't go through this again. I don't have the strength left to do it on my own and I have nobody else. Death would be so easy except for the guilt of leaving people who "love" me to clean up the mess. Don't know why I care about them...they don't care about me. I think being in some sort of accident would be ideal but that's near impossible since I can't seem to get out of bed. I talked to the one close friend I have but she doesn't want to hear it. She doesn't even bother to call or text anymore. There's no one and nothing to live for. Lots to die for.
     
  2. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Tan, there is always something to live for. Like I said before, just keep fighting. We are all here for you, so please take care. And I am always here, and so is everyone else if you need to talk more.

    :hug: xx
     
  3. OhneDich

    OhneDich Well-Known Member

    It seems hard to feel that... I wish I could do something to help you. If you want someone to talk, I'm here for you.
    Please, don't do anything to harm you...
     
  4. tan

    tan Active Member

    Where do I find the strength? And why? It seems pointless. I feel like I'm wasting everyone's time.
     
  5. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Draw the strength from us. If you vent all your worries, you will feel better. You don't need to carry all the crap on your own :) And why? Because YOU are WORTH it. You are amazing, and I know I won't give up on you

    :hug: xx
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    The thing is with depression sometimes it is necessary to change the meds up to add new ones more effective ones but i doing so it gives you more up time okay. Try new meds out there talk to your doctor okay There is hope and you do matter I think your friend just does not understand and it is unfortunate but lots of people pull away from us. That is why this place is so great we all understand and care for each other. Keep talking okay venting the pain away but keep fighting Pm me any time okay i am a good listener
     
  7. tan

    tan Active Member

    Too tired to kill myself. Pathetic.
     
  8. jeffbuddy

    jeffbuddy Member

    Your not wasting people's time. Its fun trying to help.

    As far as things being pointless, i would have to agree. I do get alot of enjoyment out of playing videogames and [trying] to make music but in the end, its all pointless busywork.

    But, i do it anyway... its best not to worry about how pointless things are, lol.

    I don't have any good answers but I'm here for ya if ya need!
     
  9. tan

    tan Active Member

    Somebody please put me out of my misery...
     
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    can you call crisis line Tan talk to someone hearing a real voice helps okay
    Call your doctor make a earlier appointment or go into emergency and be seen there Get some help okay you don't need to stay in this pain reach out and get some help. You need professional help now so call okay
     
  11. tan

    tan Active Member

    Made it to my appt today...another appt and new meds on Monday. Gonna go get drunk and stuff to pass some time. Not my best idea but fuck it. Just wanna get on the other side of this one way or the other. Come quick Monday.
     
  12. tan

    tan Active Member

    I may be the most gullible person on earth...seems like if I don't let my friends use me I don't have friends. Guess I don't have real friends. Screw it. Since I was nine and came home after school to find my mother had just up and left I've had abandonment issues. Nobody has stayed with me yet. I really want someone to love me and hold me. And not leave me. That's not gonna happen. I wanna go for a walk in traffic.
     
  13. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Almost Monday okay hold on you will see your doctor soon. I wish i could hold you and take some of that sadness away sending your virtual hugs and hope they help :hugtackles::hugtackles::hugtackles:
     
  14. tan

    tan Active Member

    Thank you Eclipse...although I have been crying for hours over your message it has kept me safe all night.
     
  15. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey crying is okay let that pain out pm me anytime you feel lonely hugs
     
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