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Dogs & Cats Diary

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by resistance, Mar 10, 2007.

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  1. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni


    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

    12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

    5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


    Day 683 of my captivity:

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are

    fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the

    rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an

    attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their


    I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly

    demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made

    condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

    placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I

    could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement

    was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

    tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try

    this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and


    The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and

    seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards

    regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged

    protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.......

    For now.


    I always knew cats were nasty. :(
  2. AlopexAngel

    AlopexAngel Chat Buddy

    LOL! I love cats. And dogs. But especially cats.
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    It was already put up, but it made me laugh a second time. :wink: thanks for thinking of us! :) :hug:
  4. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Didn't notice, sorry.
  5. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Don't be, it was worth reading again! :wink: :hug:

    PS - Grea to see you back hun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :dance:
  6. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I love both cats and dogs, but what makes them different creatures is this:

    With a dog you -

    feed it, walk it, take it to the vet, buy it toys, give it attention, give it a warm dry place to live and sleep... and the dog thinks, "wow! these people must be gods!"

    With a cat you -

    feed it, take it to the vet, buy it toys, give it attention, give it a warm dry place to live and sleep... and the cat thinks, "wow! I must be a god!"

    :biggrin: :laugh:

    ... ain't it the truth!!!:rolleyes:
  7. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Sure is. Too right, Least. I think you're right on the money! :laugh: :tongue:
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