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Dogs & Cats Diary

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#1
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY


8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!




EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY:


Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are

fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the

rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.


The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an

attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.


Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their

feet.

I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly

demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made

condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!


There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I

could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement

was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.


Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try

this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.


I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and

snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and

seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards

regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged

protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.......

For now.

-----

I always knew cats were nasty. :(
 

theleastofthese

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#6
I love both cats and dogs, but what makes them different creatures is this:

With a dog you -

feed it, walk it, take it to the vet, buy it toys, give it attention, give it a warm dry place to live and sleep... and the dog thinks, "wow! these people must be gods!"

With a cat you -

feed it, take it to the vet, buy it toys, give it attention, give it a warm dry place to live and sleep... and the cat thinks, "wow! I must be a god!"

:biggrin: :laugh:

... ain't it the truth!!!:rolleyes:
 
#7
I love both cats and dogs, but what makes them different creatures is this:

With a dog you -

feed it, walk it, take it to the vet, buy it toys, give it attention, give it a warm dry place to live and sleep... and the dog thinks, "wow! these people must be gods!"

With a cat you -

feed it, take it to the vet, buy it toys, give it attention, give it a warm dry place to live and sleep... and the cat thinks, "wow! I must be a god!"

:biggrin: :laugh:

... ain't it the truth!!!:rolleyes:


Sure is. Too right, Least. I think you're right on the money! :laugh: :tongue:
 
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