Doing good..

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Sycotic_Sarah, Aug 24, 2006.

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  1. Gone 2 days without cutting.
    Doing good.. so far.

    Just need a bit more courage and willpower.
    I have a blade in my room, bad temptation, i think its turning blunt now, but theres like a dozen things i can use to cut around me, its just so tempting, but i just think for my bodies sake. Even though i HATE my fat, gross, cut up, ugly mistaken body. :unsure:

    Anyway, 2 days so far... now to get too three.
  2. Tak

    Tak Active Member

    Congrats Sarah,

    I'm on my 2nd day again, keep relapsing

    Best advice, get rid of the blade, at least that is one less temptation, but like you I can see so many things around me that I could easily use.

    keep going
  3. Skye

    Skye Active Member

    Way to go!!!

    Congratulations! You should be proud of yourself, honey. Remember that we are all far stronger than we included. You CAN keep this up!

    Just something that "stood out" from my perspective, though, since you mentioned temptation: when I stopped cutting, I had to remove ALL sharp objects from my flat ~ no blades, no knives in my kitchen even. I wonder if it would be helpful for you to do the same? If you see what I mean here, it's like a drug addict living with stashes of his/her drug of choice lying around all over the makes quitting ten, if not ten thousand, times harder. Just a suggestion.

    Again, congratulations and keep it up!
    I wish the very best for you. :smile:


    *edited to add* Ooops, looks like Tak beat me to it with the suggestion to remove temptation. Hope you will consider it, Sarah?
  4. Its like..
    i cant explain it..
    ill try though.
    basically, if i have a blade near me, its like, a safety blanket, its something that keeps me safe, i need it, without it, ill just be more tempted and look around for one until i get my hands on one, or smash glass on the floor and use that.

    I tried getting rid of it, but im scared to touch it, i might use it, its just lying there.

    Thanks for the replies, im still hanging on, but the rope might cut soon. ;[
  5. Skye

    Skye Active Member

    Don't give up, Sarah! You're doing so, so well.
    I've always found that the first few days are the CAN get through them.

    Hang on in there. (((((Sarah)))))

  6. The first few days are the hardest.

    I went a whole year without harming myself when i first started, but i start up again using worse techniques.

    Ever since then the most i've quit for is i think 3 months max.

    I just hope i can quit soon, i don't want too, but i need too. I'm getting worse and i need to stop. ;(

    Or so i've been told.

    Your words mean so much, thankyou for believing in me, and replying too.
  7. Skye

    Skye Active Member

    Absoultely. Agreed.

    Exactly what happened with me. I stopped for almost two years before starting again. Same as you said, with worse techniques.

    But nobody can take that time away from went a whole year. That's still a heck of an achievment, honey, no matter what's happened since then.

    Just take it slowly. One day at a time. Don't even think about a week from now...a month...a year.
    Just think for today and live for today. Because ONE of these days will be a "today" when things WILL be better for you.

    No problem, and I look forward to hearing you say that YOU believe in YOU.
    You're in my thoughts, honey.

  8. now im pissed off. ;/
  9. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Please hang in there hun, I know you can do it. :hug:
  10. Skye

    Skye Active Member

    How come pissed off? Sorry if I said anything that was upsetting for you ~ I didn't mean to hurt you, honey. I can edit the post if you'd prefer?

  11. no no god no its not because of u skye.

    its just people.
    its funny how feelings for another can change in a minute.
    and how horrible someone can be to u, one minute they love u, the next they hate.
    jeez i need punished.

    tdm i cant ;(
  12. Skye

    Skye Active Member

    Ah, right. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

    Yeah...people...humans. We're a "funny" bunch, eh?
    And when combined with such intense emotions as love and hate...sheesh!

    Unfortunately, there are no "quick cures" or words of wisdom that I know of that can help ease your pain. I wish there were. I read on this forum earlier today...

    I had to agree that it made a lot of sense. Whether these words bring you comfort or not, I do not know. I hope so. All I can offer is my support and caring.

    Nope. You can't blame yourself for everything honey. You need to recognise how far you've already need to be need to hold on. You do NOT deserve to be feeling this way, nor to be punished.

    Feel free to send me a PM anytime you might need someone to talk to, okay?


    *edited to add* Hey...take a look at your Avatar.
  13. No, just hate, no love, the love is fake for me, no love at all, just hate, hatred for everything i am, do, say, everything about me, everything, just everything.
    Mistakes arn't aloud love. Just hate. As i've said a dozen times before in some of my threads.

    No need to be sorry, its alright.

    I read that, i choose to be nothing, since i am a mistake, i should not exist with any feelings or thoughts or anything, but i do, and should only exist in pain and torture, and also in the afterlife, if it exists.
    I do blame myself for everything, its my fault for feeling this way, its my fault other people hate me, its my fault for everything that happens involving me.
    I deserve these bad painful feelings and more.
    Thanks for the offer, just PM'd you.
    Just there to help others, doesnt aim at me, because i always giveup, i always give in.
  14. Skye

    Skye Active Member

    Honey, I'll understand if this is painful to read, but I'm not trying to hurt you.

    I know it's probably THE hardest thing to do...sure is for me...but you have to turn your thinking around.
    Along the lines of Virgil: "They can because they think they can." I believe you can do this. I know you can. Believe it too. Know it. You will.

    The following probably contradicts the entirity of your last post...I'm not trying to tell you how to think or feel. Just (I used to say these aloud)

    # I am a good person no matter what anyone does or says.
    # It is okay to make mistakes because everyone does.
    # I do not give up; I keep trying.
    # Everyone feels good and bad at times.
    # I can do it!
    # I am lovable.
    # When I smile, I feel better.
    # I cannot control what grown-ups do.
    # Each new day brings a chance to do better.
    # I will change what I can and accept what I cannot change.
    # I cannot change others; I can only change myself.
    # What I learn today will help me in the future.

    Please take care, love.

  15. Read my replies underneath the # points.
  16. Skye

    Skye Active Member

    I have all the time in the world, honey, to sit here and argue each and every point you’ve made. I certainly could, and certainly would…if I thought it would help. But it won’t.

    I am going to say that I’ve been a member of this community all of…what, five minutes? And you appear to me, as a very warm-hearted and caring person. You’re intelligent, open and honest. Sure, you can disagree with me on that. But that’s how I feel and as you know, you can’t change that.

    Like I said, I’m not going anywhere. I’m here to fight alongside you…not against you.
    I wish so very much that you could see your own qualities.
    Stick around, honey. Please.

    I’d very much like to get to know you better.

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