Doing it soon, maybe...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by xenflyz, May 11, 2008.

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  1. xenflyz

    xenflyz Member

    I know a lot of people have their own crises but I thought I'd let it out...
    I'm tired of living basically in my room, the only interaction I have with the world is over the internet. I have no friends.

    I have depression and my moods cycle rapidly, it's very painful every day. I'm 19 now and I dropped out of high school.

    There's a very slim chance I could find motivation to study and get into a college any time soon because I'm constantly depressed and hopeless.
    I likely have a mild form of autism and in social situations I'm always *mute* so I don't see that ever changing. In school nobody liked me and I was extremely bullied.
    What's the purpose of living such a miserable existence? I wont ever be able to have a normal life.
    Odds are very low I'll be able to get out of this, so I think I should end my life tomorrow or so while I'm still 19 and I don't become a certified Loser.
    Other people have friends, places to go, motivation to study and work. Not me.

    That's all.
  2. A Box of Chocolates

    A Box of Chocolates Active Member

    You sound almost just like me. But I'm only 15. I contemplate killing myself every time I watch tv or go outside. IT just reminds me of everything I don't have and probably wont. I guess now I'm just holding on and hoping that next year I'll make friends and be "cooler" :/. Doubt it though I'm too socially retarded.

    If I where in your situation I would try studying and getting into college as hard as possible. You said you're in your room all day so make something of the time. When your in college you have so many ways to make friends... Just don't expect anything to be easy cause nothing is anymore I guess. What my sister did when she was 21 is get her G.E.D and went to a 2 year surgery tech program. She made a lot of friends and can make some good cash now with alright hours.
  3. xenflyz

    xenflyz Member

    I'm just trying to reach a decision here. It's cruel to torture myself by keeping me alive, all I experience is pain and my mind is ruined by depression.
    I just need to give myself that green light to follow through on my suicide plans...
  4. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    So you said you are depressed. Have you done anything about getting help for this? Doc's are usually very supportive and they will be able to control it and help you see a light with the help of medication and counselling.

    Hanging your self is not a good way. You could end up in a vegetative state which surly would be worse then how you are feeling now.

    i understand how you feel about depression. It takes time to come out of it. It has taken me many months over a year to finally be on a plateau. I was at the stage where I had attempted suicide numerous times...obviously unsucessfully. You will be suprised but there are a lot of people who will want to help you.

    Feeling as you do it is hard to see how anything can get better but there is a light at the end of the tunnel!
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