doing stupid shit

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by The_Discarded, Sep 23, 2009.

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  1. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    i'm forgetting what i'm saying mid-sentence, and missing my train stop cuz i've zoned out.

    i'm watching people, generally, imagining things and i have to tell myself numerous times in my head to "stop it. wake up. focus. focus. you have to do this. you have to pay attention."

    i can't pay attention. and i can't fucking be like this. i can't afford to be like this. i can't remember anyfuckingthing. i'm slow to respond often to the point where my friends are like "are you ok?" and, i mean, yeah, but wtf? i'm making a lot of mistakes and doing things that don't make sense. i've been mixing up words and spellings and languages and thoughts and stories and ideas and i feel fucking stupid.

    i write to-do lists obsessively (i have for ages, so it's no worse than it has been) but simply reading the to-do list takes me several minutes because i'm so scattered. takes me forever to write papers (whereas a page used to take me half an hour or so, it's now around 3 hours) and someone will tell me to return their call and i'll forget and then later not remember whether or not i called them and the next day they're displeased and i'm not even trying to be displeasing.

    i can't remember what city i'm in sometimes so i think i'm seeing people from somewhere else i lived until it dawns on me that i'm not there anymore. i'm not being able to identify names and faces a lot, and work and school are becoming taxing and difficult as hell. i usually have my shit together. those mechanical parts of my life, at least. and i'm trying to focus. i'm trying to get more sleep and exercise and eat a little better but i'm having crazy nightmares and hallucinations and a lot is going on and i want to drink it out of me.

    i don't trust myself to remember anything so i write the things that i've completed down and i have so many different lists and i don't remember what they're all for.

    i keep losing my keys. losing my mind too, i guess. i'm doing stupid shit and it's making me frustrated daily to the point of tears. living in my head, using it for productivity, was the only thing that gave me any sense of solace and existence in the past but it's dulled into a fog and i want to climb out. i've never cried this much in my life and i really really hate it and i have no clue what to do.

    this crap happen to anyone else or am i just a fucking idiot?
  2. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    WTF! MY TWIN. Guess what, I was daydreaming this morning and missed my trainstop too. Im already known as the slow dopy kid at my 3 week new school. Everyting else I have too, it takes me an hour to write a page.

    I suggest you get rid of whatever problems you got. Im not tough, Im fine. I thrive and live problems, pull trough and solve them, then maybe I can concentrate better for a bit.
  3. jacknife

    jacknife Guest

    You might just be a night owl. I'm never completely awake during the day, but at night I become highly motivated and productive.
  4. WldHair

    WldHair Well-Known Member

    I did this a lot when I was at my worst. Now, I do it just some of the time. One thing that helped me get my mind back in order was doing crossword puzzles. I do them every lunch hour just to exercise my brain. Your forgetfulness could be due to a nutritional imbalance or chemical. Try talking to a doctor and get a blood test to check your levels.
  5. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Yeah it certainly feels like you are losing it big time. I've been like this for some time now. Lists of lists, forgetting why I went to a cupboard and worse realizing after standing there for a few minutes it wasnt even the cupboard I originally wanted but the fridge!!! Rereading or rewriting the same thing. Missing time while I'm driving. It goes on and on. Please go talk to a doc about it. Lots of reasons but the most common is stress, and or lack of sleep. Stress is the body's way of saying "hey listen to me now or it's going to get a lot worse." Even though it may seem like we are "operating" normally, holding down jobs, running a house, attending school.... all the things put together stress you out. Then throw mental health issues in there and you're now operating on "dangerous". The horrible mightmares are also an indication of stress. During the day your mind sees and does so many things. But to be able to cope and survive you unknowingly put some things aside. At night when you try to sleep, that is the time that your mind can recall those things left behind. And it can get to the point that you are losing valuable sleep each night. Because to avoid the dreams, you try not to fall asleep. Now add that to the other two culprits and you have the memory loss, loss of concentration etc. Hun please talk to a professional but in the mean time rest assured as un-normal as it all feels, you are actually very normal with what you are experiencing. It's your body's way of getting your attention. Works huh?
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    When you spend half the evening wondering where the hell u left your purse and still dont twig where it is, even when you find half a pound of cheese in your handbag, you've joined me! :laugh:
  7. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Well when you find the bottle of wine too, I'm there hun!!! :) But please pick the lint from the cheese first. And then...... damn it didnt have this on one of my to do things list, so forgetting what to say:dry:
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