I have struggled with depression and suicidal idealization for a long time. I've tried really hard to do the things I can to make my mental health as good as it can be. I've learned to be friendly but I still cant make friends. I found a voice but still struggle to be heard. I try hard to make a difference at work but I still feel invisible. I love my family but I don't feel loved by them. I wake up everyday, but I feel lost. I wish everyday I had a friend to talk to so I didn't have to feel so alone but no one wants me. I struggle everyday to be OK with those feelings and to a certain extent I've been able to accept that I'm not going to ever feel the good things I crave. I'm just waiting to die.