Domestic and long life efffect

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by HopedaleStocker, Mar 12, 2007.

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  1. I seperated from a 10 year abusive relationship bout 2 years ago. Him and I had 2 children during this time.... Now that I have decided to move on he did everything he could to destory the relationship at the point of calling child services the day my boyfriend arrived saying he had sexualy abused our eldest ( had not even got off the plane yet). eventually my new beau and I were married. But soon after the pressures came to much and we seperated... I finnaly met someone for the first time in my life accepted me for who I was and as I was no matter what faults I had... I was "perfect" in his eyes.. He knew bout the father and I never lied to him and he still wanted to be there and protect and nuture and support me though it all.... Today he was privy to a phone conversation between the father and I ( I was being honest bout what "allan" was like) he has now decided it may be to much for him ( and I honestly don't blame him) thus being said when him and I were talking ( calm and honest )I had said to him I know now that as long as he exists I won't be free I am his "property" and anyone ever envading it will forever be a threat to be destroyed. He is up for domestic charges for the 4th TIME in june and as all others closer to date they drop most charges and AGAIN they ONLY asking for probation. I am at the point I don't see much choice in freedom. The only choice is as I have said before one of us must go.. There was a point when I told allan next fight only one walks out. He still abuses me abuses the kids and any potential mate I may find. He has no real interest in the kids other then a holding tool on me. The courts can protect me the police can't ( he keeps breaching restraining orders) and I can't protect the kids nor future possible spouses so what good am I? May be time for the last "fight"
     
  2. lostcat95

    lostcat95 Guest

    I am so sorry to hear that you are going through that. Can you move to another state and try to start over? This guy seems like he is not going to stop any time soon! I often wondered if I liked playing the victim or if i was just used to playing one. I have dealt with abuse in some form from the main men in my life, starting at about 16. I started to think it was me driving them crazy but I just don't know. My relationships tend to end in violence! I think it maybe the fact that I let guys take so much control in the relationship, maybe. I think it has to be me, the lastest guy (mr a.b #1) grabbed my face and almost hit me, I think I should just leave men alone all together.
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2007
  3. immure

    immure Account Closed

    i had worked with a women who lived a life like this. the man even had went to jail over it on different occasions didn t matter
    she didn t let him back he found his ways crawling through smashed windows whatever it took. i finally asked if she would relocate if she was offered the back door to safer life. she said if there was someplace to go with some suport to help her she would. so we did this SHE did this i was so proud of her for it was a time of secrecy and conspiring that left us feeling exilerated and afraid. we lobied a church group to set up a suport in a far off as they could go which turned out to be clear across the country. in all honesty i have no idea what happened after for she went and started her life a new. i still think of her and pray for her. and hope she has found some new peace. i sugest with my whole being do not except defeat. but do what needs to be done ur kids deserve you and them to have happy times.
     
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