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Don’t know how to go on

auburnfrog

Well-Known Member
#1
Been a while since I was last around but I want to give a bit of update that I’m not getting better at all, if any I think I’m getting worse.

I literally (yes in the literal meaning of literally) don’t have anyone that can help me and I don’t have money so I can’t afford therapy either. Also mental health help in my country is virtually zero so before people wonder, there’s no such thing as social workers or suicide hotline.

So in the end I’m alone and can only rely on myself but I’m not sure if I can keep that up any longer. I’ve been in this place for too long and I really hate to go on because it hurts too much.

Let alone seeing a future for myself, even thinking about it sounds impossible. I’m continuously ruining myself and I want an end to this all but I don’t know any way to other than death. I really don’t know what to do, I’m in so much pain and can’t help myself.
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#3
there are international crises lines and online crises help. it's obviosly not the same as irl help but it's something. you also have us to talk to. we will listen and never judge you. a lot of us have been where you are. i know it seems hopeless right now but it's possible things will get better. if you ever need someone to talk to please feel free to use my inbox...mike...*console*sadhug*shake
 
#4
Just keep leaning on us, for whatever positive benefits & support that it may provide. Whatever you can find online for free (I don’t know what’s available- but maybe there is something these days. . . Perhaps graduate students studying to be therapists, or the the like would be interested in accumulating experience through “practice,” of individual such as yourself)? Keep talking & participating in places like this, if you find that it helps. And though it feels & seems daunting, that may be because ofthe particular s of your situation described above - as wel l as - some potentially distortion s going on in your cognition; or cognitive thoughts 💭 (i e, “thinking...”) -I think 🤔.?! :) good 😌 luck 👍 & all is not lost ... despite what it might feel to be—
 

Lane

SF Supporter
#5
Been a while since I was last around but I want to give a bit of update that I’m not getting better at all, if any I think I’m getting worse.

I literally (yes in the literal meaning of literally) don’t have anyone that can help me and I don’t have money so I can’t afford therapy either. Also mental health help in my country is virtually zero so before people wonder, there’s no such thing as social workers or suicide hotline.

So in the end I’m alone and can only rely on myself but I’m not sure if I can keep that up any longer. I’ve been in this place for too long and I really hate to go on because it hurts too much.

Let alone seeing a future for myself, even thinking about it sounds impossible. I’m continuously ruining myself and I want an end to this all but I don’t know any way to other than death. I really don’t know what to do, I’m in so much pain and can’t help myself.
Hi @auburnfrog. You're not alone in not having support. The world can be a very lonely place.

Also, I dont think you have to have to help yourself all at once. It's nice to meet you and I'm sorry that things are so difficult right now. I'll come back later to check on you.
 

auburnfrog

Well-Known Member
#7
there are international crises lines and online crises help. it's obviosly not the same as irl help but it's something. you also have us to talk to. we will listen and never judge you. a lot of us have been where you are. i know it seems hopeless right now but it's possible things will get better. if you ever need someone to talk to please feel free to use my inbox...mike...*console*sadhug*shake
Thank you for being so compassionate :) unfortunately at this moment I don’t know any online crisis help, if you could please enlighten me :D? You’re right it seems so hopeless right now, my chest still feels all stuffy...:(
 

auburnfrog

Well-Known Member
#8
Just keep leaning on us, for whatever positive benefits & support that it may provide. Whatever you can find online for free (I don’t know what’s available- but maybe there is something these days. . . Perhaps graduate students studying to be therapists, or the the like would be interested in accumulating experience through “practice,” of individual such as yourself)? Keep talking & participating in places like this, if you find that it helps. And though it feels & seems daunting, that may be because ofthe particular s of your situation described above - as wel l as - some potentially distortion s going on in your cognition; or cognitive thoughts 💭 (i e, “thinking...”) -I think 🤔.?! :) good 😌 luck 👍 & all is not lost ... despite what it might feel to be—
Thank you :) I’m glad I’m here, this place is truly the only and last place for me to turn to, in real life there is...no one and nowhere :( Thank you for your encouragement :)
 
#10
Thank you :) I’m glad I’m here, this place is truly the only and last place for me to turn to, in real life there is...no one and nowhere :( Thank you for your encouragement :)
That’s great 😃 news to hear! Have you had much of a chance to look around and explore here (there is quite a lot to digest; & although in all likelihood better setup in terms of its organization, or layout than ever before - because I’m such a dinosaur. . . If you ask me where something is that I only used to frequent - say 5 years ago (I won’t have the foggiest clue where to go look 👀!) ;^)_. But that is on me —& my stupidity/ or /deficiency; whatever you want to call it! ;)
I find that everyone has different interests, and so what piques or speak s to some—may not necessarily to others, and so on & so forth..:)
For me: usually, the game room is where it’s at, or the coffeehouse. But every one is different. I know a lot of people get the best use out of ‘chat,’ but I have honestly only started using that in recent seasons —& even only then; seemingly, when summoned! (For the longest time - I did not know how to even use the darn thing: but that is probably because I am a ‘technophobe!’). :D
Peace ✌️
 

Anonymous ID

Well-Known Member
#12
I can't imagine what it would be like with no support. I take medication, go to regular therapy and am still a mess. I have people around me and still feel lonely. It must be so much worse for you. I wish there was something I could do to help. You don't deserve to feel this way
 

auburnfrog

Well-Known Member
#13
That’s great 😃 news to hear! Have you had much of a chance to look around and explore here (there is quite a lot to digest; & although in all likelihood better setup in terms of its organization, or layout than ever before - because I’m such a dinosaur. . . If you ask me where something is that I only used to frequent - say 5 years ago (I won’t have the foggiest clue where to go look 👀!) ;^)_. But that is on me —& my stupidity/ or /deficiency; whatever you want to call it! ;)
I find that everyone has different interests, and so what piques or speak s to some—may not necessarily to others, and so on & so forth..:)
For me: usually, the game room is where it’s at, or the coffeehouse. But every one is different. I know a lot of people get the best use out of ‘chat,’ but I have honestly only started using that in recent seasons —& even only then; seemingly, when summoned! (For the longest time - I did not know how to even use the darn thing: but that is probably because I am a ‘technophobe!’). :D
Peace ✌️
Game room and coffeehouse, sounds nice :) I’m still trying to figure out how things work around here as well, thank you for all your suggestions :)
 

auburnfrog

Well-Known Member
#14
Hi. Have you been around the forum some yet? I'm glad the weekend is finally here tomorrow. Are you doing anything or not really up to it yet?
Hi! I haven’t had the chance to roam around but I find it very nice here. I’m glad about the weekend too, not really up to it though, I never know what to do on weekends and even if I do, it’s not like I have the time and energy lol :D I’m hoping you a happy one! :)
 

auburnfrog

Well-Known Member
#15
I can't imagine what it would be like with no support. I take medication, go to regular therapy and am still a mess. I have people around me and still feel lonely. It must be so much worse for you. I wish there was something I could do to help. You don't deserve to feel this way
I’d be lying if I say it’s not terrifying, having been in my rock bottom for years with no one to lean onto, haha. I haven’t been able to come around to accept that it must just be my luck...at this point maybe I’ve given up on support/help and just want to get used to being in this situation.

I’m happy that you’re able to get the support and help you need, it’s a great thing! :) although you might still feel like a mess now, recovery is a long but worthwhile journey, isn’t it :D
 

Lane

SF Supporter
#16
Hi! I haven’t had the chance to roam around but I find it very nice here. I’m glad about the weekend too, not really up to it though, I never know what to do on weekends and even if I do, it’s not like I have the time and energy lol :D I’m hoping you a happy one! :)
Good morning. Ah, that's good. It can be a decent place here. I've spent way too long in bed, so I get it. I hope you can find it in yourself to say some kind words and even treat yourself to maybe a good meal or something simple. *hug10
 

auburnfrog

Well-Known Member
#17
Been a while since I was last around but I want to give a bit of update that I’m not getting better at all, if any I think I’m getting worse.

I literally (yes in the literal meaning of literally) don’t have anyone that can help me and I don’t have money so I can’t afford therapy either. Also mental health help in my country is virtually zero so before people wonder, there’s no such thing as social workers or suicide hotline.

So in the end I’m alone and can only rely on myself but I’m not sure if I can keep that up any longer. I’ve been in this place for too long and I really hate to go on because it hurts too much.

Let alone seeing a future for myself, even thinking about it sounds impossible. I’m continuously ruining myself and I want an end to this all but I don’t know any way to other than death. I really don’t know what to do, I’m in so much pain and can’t help myself.
Dunno why I feel the need to add this but as an act of getting it off my chest, I think the most painful yet reoccurring thing is that every time I cry, I would cry over [insert problem/thought here]...and then inevitably, I’d cry over the fact that I’m always alone, with no one to listen and to help :”) I don’t know, I find it too much that I have to carry all of this myself, handle everything myself. Somehow this has gotten to such a critical point where no one but myself is aware of the attempts I made to die.

I’ve run out of resources and shoulders to cry on...my parents/family have made it quite clear that they don’t like it when I vent to them and the only kind of friends I have are those who only want the,, happy side of me. And it’s totally fine, I understand them, not everyone has the capacity to be of support, besides they also have their own share of burdens. But I still find it sad.
 

Trixie

Well-Known Member
#18
Been a while since I was last around but I want to give a bit of update that I’m not getting better at all, if any I think I’m getting worse.

I literally (yes in the literal meaning of literally) don’t have anyone that can help me and I don’t have money so I can’t afford therapy either. Also mental health help in my country is virtually zero so before people wonder, there’s no such thing as social workers or suicide hotline.

So in the end I’m alone and can only rely on myself but I’m not sure if I can keep that up any longer. I’ve been in this place for too long and I really hate to go on because it hurts too much.

Let alone seeing a future for myself, even thinking about it sounds impossible. I’m continuously ruining myself and I want an end to this all but I don’t know any way to other than death. I really don’t know what to do, I’m in so much pain and can’t help myself.
Maybe that gut wrenching pain so many of us feel is a reminder to reach out, connect with others. And you've done that here on SF. Doesn't that mean you are still trying to help yourself? Give yourself a pat on the back for that because you are still fighting for your life.

As much as we hate it, fear it, pain and suffering are an inevitable part of life. Without it, joy would seem meaningless. I try to hold on to the belief that nothing is permanent. Unfortunately, that's as true for joy and happiness as it is for pain and suffering. Do your best to seek out the things that make you laugh, help you feel not so alone in this world, and expand your curiosity. I think it's those things that keep us going and help us endure the more painful parts of life. It's okay to sit with the pain, to feel it, to acknowledge it, and wait it out. For me, if I don't do that, then it ends up lasting longer and feeling worse. Breathe through it and then find something to distract yourself for a little while. Rinse and repeat. I hope that helps some. *brohug
 

auburnfrog

Well-Known Member
#19
Maybe that gut wrenching pain so many of us feel is a reminder to reach out, connect with others. And you've done that here on SF. Doesn't that mean you are still trying to help yourself? Give yourself a pat on the back for that because you are still fighting for your life.

As much as we hate it, fear it, pain and suffering are an inevitable part of life. Without it, joy would seem meaningless. I try to hold on to the belief that nothing is permanent. Unfortunately, that's as true for joy and happiness as it is for pain and suffering. Do your best to seek out the things that make you laugh, help you feel not so alone in this world, and expand your curiosity. I think it's those things that keep us going and help us endure the more painful parts of life. It's okay to sit with the pain, to feel it, to acknowledge it, and wait it out. For me, if I don't do that, then it ends up lasting longer and feeling worse. Breathe through it and then find something to distract yourself for a little while. Rinse and repeat. I hope that helps some. *brohug
Being on SF feels like my last and only resort, it comforts me that I can let my chest out and be welcomed by warm people, like you :)

Aww, to be fair, it’s been quite a good while now since I’ve felt genuine joy. Maybe because most of the time when I’m not feeling terrible, I’m just...numb? If that makes any sense haha. Or, maybe I’ve been this way for too long that I can’t really ‘identify’ joy anymore, so at a time when I’m happy, I didn’t consider what I felt as happiness...I don’t know, my memory is fuzzy ahh :p

These days breathing feels like a chore, but you know, I guess I should wait it out for a bit more until my thoughts reach someplace stable and nice..:)
 
#20
Well, you can certainly use our shoulders to cry on all you want (if you’d like, that is..!) :^)
And one of the reasons I happen to like or use the game room & the coffee house, most — is that it is like a counterpoint, at times to the otherwise conflicting emotions I may be experiencing. So, sort of laughter as a weapon kind of a thing... it’s a bit silly. And has become less used by the masses than it used to (perhaps largely because of me!), but both “Jim’s Cafe,” and coffee house, you may or may not find more accessible (as in less juvenile..;)) ~*•> peace ✌️ & good 😌 luck 🍀
 

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