I kind of few weird posting about my problems on the internet, Though I struggle to talk to family/friends about my issues. I don’t even know how to start this. I guess I’m seeing this as a last resort for some help I guess, I know there will be here with probably stronger reasons for feeling this way, but I guess we’re all different. So I guess I will start by telling you about my current position before telling you how I got here.
At the moment, I have ordered items from the the internet (according to the rules I cannot describe what I’m planning to do?) anyway, according to my research its meant to be a quick painless death, they are currently due to arrive tomorrow. I’m not afraid, no longer fear what I can possibly do to myself at some point, Within the next 48 hours. Although I’m scared of what might happen and honestly at this point, I just want to be free and have peace inside my own head I just cant cope anymore, I’m in pain, I just want to be free
Now to explain how I got here, I’m currently in the middle of a breakup with my long term partner, In fact I don’t even know if we’re breaking up, she says things when she’s angry and upset, but this time it felt more real. I know people will say that stupid to do this over a “girl”, but to me its not, I broke her trust (not by cheating) but by logging in to her social media because I convinced myself that she was up to no good (she wasn’t). And the fear of losing someone that I feel so close to, who makes me happy, even when we fight have have arguments, like every couple. She’s been refusing to talk this out with me, and I’m just so lost, the warm feeling that she made me feel in side when I saw her and her smile, is going and I’m unable to do anything about it. My friends say she just needs a little space but i think this is it.
At the moment, I have ordered items from the the internet (according to the rules I cannot describe what I’m planning to do?) anyway, according to my research its meant to be a quick painless death, they are currently due to arrive tomorrow. I’m not afraid, no longer fear what I can possibly do to myself at some point, Within the next 48 hours. Although I’m scared of what might happen and honestly at this point, I just want to be free and have peace inside my own head I just cant cope anymore, I’m in pain, I just want to be free
Now to explain how I got here, I’m currently in the middle of a breakup with my long term partner, In fact I don’t even know if we’re breaking up, she says things when she’s angry and upset, but this time it felt more real. I know people will say that stupid to do this over a “girl”, but to me its not, I broke her trust (not by cheating) but by logging in to her social media because I convinced myself that she was up to no good (she wasn’t). And the fear of losing someone that I feel so close to, who makes me happy, even when we fight have have arguments, like every couple. She’s been refusing to talk this out with me, and I’m just so lost, the warm feeling that she made me feel in side when I saw her and her smile, is going and I’m unable to do anything about it. My friends say she just needs a little space but i think this is it.