Don’t know

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ScarletX

Well-Known Member
#1
I feel Iike I shouldn’t be posting here again, as I already have, but I just don’t know where to turn. All I can think of is ending this stupid pain. It’s getting to the point of where I feel I’ll attempt again. I try to talk to the little family that I have,but I’m met with “stop it” then I get a lecture about how no one wants to be around a person like that, and that I’m nothing but being negative. What do I do? Calling a hotline is one thing, but it only helps in the heat of the moment..once the call is over, I’m back to feeling this way. I’ve been in the hospital already, and I’ll just get threats of being put in one again. This depression and OCD and hatred for myself and my life is causing everything to go wrong.
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#2
Hello there, you can post a million times if you wish - that is what we are here for, to listen and support.

When was the last time you were an inpatient? Did anything out of that experience help in any way?

Screw those people lecturing you, you are your own person, you are unique and I firmly believe we should (and I do) talk about mental health issues just like you would with physical issues. The stigma is tight unfortunately :(

We're here for you.. *hug

Can you make a plan on how to keep yourself safe for the remainder of the day?
 

ScarletX

Well-Known Member
#3
Hello there, you can post a million times if you wish - that is what we are here for, to listen and support.

When was the last time you were an inpatient? Did anything out of that experience help in any way?

Screw those people lecturing you, you are your own person, you are unique and I firmly believe we should (and I do) talk about mental health issues just like you would with physical issues. The stigma is tight unfortunately :(

We're here for you.. *hug

Can you make a plan on how to keep yourself safe for the remainder of the day?
Thanks, that makes me feel better. I was inpatient a couple years ago already, and I was also outpatient. The experience was nothing short of horrible. I didn’t want to be there, but was forced. It really hurts how no one understands. Finding a therapist is hard and expensive.

I don’t really have a plan on keeping myself safe.
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#4
Hello again, sorry to hear your inpatient stay was not so nice.

It might feel like no one understands or cares but i'm confident you will meet others who do understand.

Are there any free mental help places where you are from? Even if its only art therapy etc.. look around and see what you can find.

Keep speaking out your thoughts if you wish, we all understand here and ignore the ignorance of real life.

I honestly wish I had a magic wand right now but knowing you are safe will be just as good, you're far from alone, help is here.
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
SF Pro
#5
Just wanted to send you some hugs and agree with all @Petal said especially that you can always continue to post as I have found this life is often like a roller coaster with its continual ups and downs and that is what makes this place so special...please just take to heart that you do matter and that you aren't alone. *hug
 

Nick

☆☆Admin-tastic ☆☆
Safety & Support
SF Social Media
SF Artist
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#6
@Scarlet2020 you can post here all you want. No need to feel bad for posting again today because you are struggling. I don't have much to add here. I wanted to drop in and let you know that someone else was reading and cares. I hope you are able to find a way to stay safe. Keep talking to us.
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#7
please feel free to keep posting. we want to hear from you on good days and bad . there are a lot of people that have been here for years and have had great periods and then struggle again. it's normal so don't worry about how many times you post. you are part of the family and the most important part of our family is support, if you need support we are here for you and if you're doing well you give support. and as far as people saying stop it etc. they are trying to help but they don't understand how because they don't understand mental health. I hope you feel better soon. mike
 

ScarletX

Well-Known Member
#8
Hello again, sorry to hear your inpatient stay was not so nice.

It might feel like no one understands or cares but i'm confident you will meet others who do understand.

Are there any free mental help places where you are from? Even if its only art therapy etc.. look around and see what you can find.

Keep speaking out your thoughts if you wish, we all understand here and ignore the ignorance of real life.

I honestly wish I had a magic wand right now but knowing you are safe will be just as good, you're far from alone, help is here.
Idk, I haven’t looked into that kind of therapy. I really wished I felt better. I feel trapped.
 

ScarletX

Well-Known Member
#9
My night is not any better, in fact it’s worse. I hate my worthless, useless, shitty self. I’m basically just a throw away piece of garbage. I’m hurting so bad it’s hard to cry. I’m feel numb and away from reality. I wanna hurt myself so bad.
 

Nick

☆☆Admin-tastic ☆☆
Safety & Support
SF Social Media
SF Artist
SF Supporter
#10
My night is not any better, in fact it’s worse. I hate my worthless, useless, shitty self. I’m basically just a throw away piece of garbage. I’m hurting so bad it’s hard to cry. I’m feel numb and away from reality. I wanna hurt myself so bad.
I don't know you, but I don't think you are a worthless, useless or a piece of garbage. Things are difficult right now. That's the depression talking, telling you lies about yourself. That's what it does. It picks at your brain and tells you things that aren't true. Is there someone you can call? Or something you can do to distract yourself? Something to keep you from hurting yourself?
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
SF Pro
#11
I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing. I wondered if you had considered talking to your gp about how you were feeling as she/he may offer some suggestions and also may know of some resources for an affordable therapist. Though you may be reluctant to do so after what you said were bad experiences for inpatient and outpatient though not easy I know talking with someone can be quite helpful as depression has a way of making us think our options for help are limited so perhaps consider this. And if you feel like you are in immediate danger call a hotline (see my signature below) as they also can be quite helpful. Sending you hugs and be gentle on yourself and be safe and do take to heart that you do matter and that you aren't alone. So I encourage you to keep posting.
 

ScarletX

Well-Known Member
#12
Thanks for checking in. It’s 5 in the morning, I can’t sleep, I’m having panic attacks because so much is stuff in running through my head. I don’t want to feel this anymore.
 

Slothish

Well-Known Member
#13
I too just woke up with a panic attack. Just wanted to let you know I'm here. I need rest so badly and I've always hated the irony of how depression takes sleep away. I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time, but I'm glad you (and I) have found this place and I hope you can take comfort from this forum. Sending you a cyber hug
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
SF Pro
#14
I am so sorry @Scarlet2020 and @ slothish that you are struggling with panic attacks. One thing that I've found helpful with those is to just take deep breaths and try to slow but surely quiet my thoughts a bit. Also if at home I try to distract myself by doing something like watching tv/movie which sometimes I can fall asleep to. Sending you both peaceful thoughts and hugs.
 
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