Done with the weight of the world

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by pither, May 8, 2009.

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  1. pither

    pither Well-Known Member

    I’m angry. With myself, with the people around me, with this disgusting gluttonous planet. No one cares, no one even looks as their fellow man starve and scream for help to save their dying, sickly children as they wither away to dust. The richest of men are the selfish of men. People are pigs, maybe that is why our anatomy is so similar. Sympathy is a word of the past, replaced by greed and selfishness.

    But if we do chose to leave this hell hole behind, what lies ahead? We’ve been told that suicide sentences you to burn in the eternal flames of hell. We are force to rise above the rest, be the light in a dark, pitch black place. Be the good we want to see in a world of evil. And if this is all true, where would we even start? There is so much ground to cover we would die just trying. Is that the point? We should die trying to fix the worlds problems and flaws? Or maybe we too should just turn the other way. Maybe that’s the only way to be happy, to be oblivious. If that’s true, I’d still rather die. My therapist once told me that I shouldn’t carry others burdens, but is the world not my home too? I’m so ashamed to be labels as “human”. "It’s human nature", "it’s just the way people are". If this is true, I don’t want to be one. I’d rather be dead.The only regret I hold for skipping out is that I won’t be around to watch it all burn.
  2. dreamachine

    dreamachine Active Member

    in some ways i do really think ignorance is bliss, you know and that it is just human nature to try to avoid or ignore problems. no one knows about my depression and suicidal tendencies because i know that people dont want to deal with it, they want to live in their ignorant world. and i resent having to be a human being living with such a selfish, oblivious society as well. i wish there was some way to change things.
  3. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I am 50/50 on this posting.
    Because although I do not believe humanity is generally good, I do truly believe there is SOME good in humanity.

    If there is one thing feeling depressed and defeated has taught me, it is to not be selfish.
    If I see someone needs my hand, I'll offer them an arm. That is the person I have become. I can't sit back and let someone suffer when they need me, I am even in the process of a career change just so I can help more.

    I have been SO selfish in my life so far, so so selfish. But if I can change the lives of just 2 people, then I know I did something worthwhile.
    We can't change the world, but whoever said it only takes one person to make a difference was right, because if you don't put your hand up and say I - offer yourself, offer to help, nobody else will. Everybody else will just follow suit.
    So put your hand up - help, maybe others will feel inspired by your altruism. Maybe they won't.
    But at least you can sleep at night knowing you tried.

    I don't feel I have any right to ask for help if I cannot - myself - give it out.

    So please, next time you say NO-ONE. Remember it is not all of us.
  4. dreamachine

    dreamachine Active Member

    oh yeah, i definitely agree with that too. not everyone is bad, in fact i dont think most people are bad either. i just believe, even of the most caring people, that most people rather would be ignorant and happy. honestly if i had that choice before all of this happened to me, i'd rather just think none of the bad things of the world exist too. and i also do think my problems have taught me how to be more compassionate to others as well because i know what its like to have people turn their backs to you.

    it just seems like there are a few people i tell my problems to and i see how upset they get and i feel bad and would rather just keep them in the dark about it so it doesnt hurt them. now that is not their fault, but it does make me see how people are obviously a lot happier if they are oblivious of the pain other people go through, but while i don't specifically tell them what's going on anymore, i know they know, and they turn their backs on it when they know its coming back. it is round about cycle and i can't say i blame them. also there are people like my mother that think the fact i get suicidal is due to a side effect of SSRI's, despite the fact i was suicidal before i ever took them. its like this grand denial that she can thrust on me and not have to deal with me, even when i try to explain it to her and ask for serious help.

    so i don't know. i dont think people are all bad but i do believe ignorance is bliss for the most part, and i don't blame people for wanting to not get involved with someone with serious problems, but it's still hurtful to me, and i dont know. i'm kind of rambling.
  5. pither

    pither Well-Known Member

    Yes, there may be some who don't have a mean or selfish bone in their bodies, or maybe they are humbled by whatever experiences make up their lives, but all in all the majority of stable human kind only looks out for themselves. Just think of it, movie stars and famous folk have million dollar parties much less homes and wardrobes. How could one enjoy all those privileges while their fellow beings die of hunger and simple illness in other parts of the world? Ignorance. As long as you're comfortable nothing else really matters. If you can sleep soundly at night, all is well.

    It makes me sick, simple as that. I cannot say that I myself am a non selfish person. I haven't been on this planet long, and the time I have spent here has been primarily for my own gain. But I know now what the rest of civilization looks like, I can see the people of poorer countries and I can see the people of wealthy countries. It doesn't add up. Why do we need so much, while they work with so little? Why do we get to pretend they don't exist while they beg at our feet? The world is not a fair place I know, but I'm not willing to say humanity shouldn't help itself and even the odds.

    Maybe my mind just isn't ready to handle people for what they are. Maybe I just don't fully understand it all yet. But while my mind is in this state, I can't help they way I feel-
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    These things make me sick too, and these are all really good questions. But don't just leave it at that. Dig deeper. I started really asking these questions and trying to understand years ago. Why ARE people so selfish? What is going on? What is all this, how can people be like this? And I've found my own answers which has given me some peace of mind.
    I hope you start your search and that I made some kind of sense heh :hug:
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